I am Michael ... Wilbon

So I go to my neighborhood version of Cheers last night better known as Fridays for a few LITs (better known as Long Island Iced Teas, aka the drink that's four-fifths alcohol if made properly).

I neeedd to kick back after a long day, and before a long weekend of working this Champions Tour event in Kansas City.

So anyways, all of the formalities are now done with so I can continue. There I sat at the bar talking to one of the bartenders, and a gentlman trying to make conversation askes me a question:

"So did you here about George Foreman?" he said.

I shook my head because I hadn't the slightest clue as to what he spoke of.

"He's making a comeback," he said.

"Are you serious? George Foreman? For what? He's got enough money off of that grill that he should be good. What is he going to fight for? He's going to kill himself or be killed."

It stayed on my brain for a while, even while tipsy. Is dude about to start the Champions (Seniors) Boxing Circuit? What's really good?

So anyway, I went home after about three drinks, and turned on ESPN News, which is what I fall asleep to every night. I saw the deal about Lakers' forward Lamar Odom's sixth-month-old baby. How sad.

I woke up this morning to the death of Randy Walker, the Northwestern football coach, scrolling across my screen.

And then on the screen came Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield. I didn't even need to turned the television volume up to know that the gentleman at the bar had made a grave mistake. He called Evander, George.

But it's ok. We all look alike to them anyway. Speaking of which, I'll be signing autographs as Michael Wilbon next weekend at Friday's. I wonder how many people will confuse me for him.

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Today I Didn't Even Have To Use My AK

.... I'd Have To Say It Was A Good Day."

Everybody knows I love poker and most of my close friends know I'm alright at the game.

Last night I ventured into uncharted territory, playing in a "high stakes" cash game, and walked away positive about 2-hun, an Ice Cube type good day.

But the evening enhanced itself becuase of two moments.

1) While playing, I decided I wanted to be Phil Ivey, the best poker player on the planet by most accounts, and put on my I-Pod. Yeah, me and YRUN2DP (The I-Pod's name as well as this blog) were going to have a chill session.

The dealer promptly told me that I wasn't allowed to wear headphones. Seriously. He then joked about how he wished I could turn it up so he could hear it.

"You wouldn't want to listen to this," I said jokingly.

"Yeah, I don't like that rap stuff," he quipped back illiciting evil stares and chimes from everyone at the table. "What? There's too much violence. I like the beat. But it's too violent."

This was an older white male, like the old guy in Ocean's 11 and 12. I had to get him.

"You know, I don't even like rap music," I said speaking truthfully. "I prefer soul music. But right now I'm listening to something you would like. Frank Sinatra's Mack The Knife."

Now I lied about that last part, but his look said he was stunned that I even knew what Mack The Knife was. Impressed, nonetheless, he nodded his head not understanding that I had baited him.

"You know what Mack the Knife is about, right?" a fellow player asked the dealer, who knew he'd been duped. "It's about a serial killer."

2) There was one other priceless moment, that actually cost me a few dollars. A dealer dealt me a 9-2 offsuit, a hand not worth playing.

Disgusted by my lack of good cards, I mucked my hand so hard the it showed.

"Dude, you should never fold that hand, you have to play that 9-2 off every time," said this gentleman to my right, of course he was being sarcastic.

I looked at him with a slight smirk because, well, I like sarcastic assholes because I can be one of the best.

Then the flop came. 9-9-2. Everyone at the table busted out in laughter as if there had been a bad beat or something. Sarcasm Sam and I high five each other because it was the funniest thing to happen all night.

Inside though, I was pissed.

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When We Knew ...

that there was something direly wrong with Eddie Murphy.

Forget Johnny Gill. This is when we knew.

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Just A Thought ...

and a stupid one at that. But I think I may have stumbled upon why some blacks don't use proper grammar.

The song Gettin Some Head by Shawnna of Disturbing Tha Peace. It's talking about "receiving oral sex," the proper way of saying it. Put it like this, what if the hook went like this (sing it in your head):

I was receiving some head,
receive, receiving some head
I was receving some head,
receive, receiving some head
I was receiving some head,
receive, receiving some head
I was (She's the kind of girl who will make your toes fly)

So, yeah. That doesn't quite sound right, does it?

My second question for the evening comes from an interesting observation from the family of Kaduk's. K-duck's broham asked him why there are so many black actors portraying elderly black women in movies.

He asked me, and I started thinking. There's Madea (Tyler Perry) and Big Momma (Martin Lawrence). Both carried guns as well. I don't quite understand what the obsession is with a black man playing his grandma or someone old enough to be that person. But there are, in my opinion, two too many black guys playing those roles and making a crapload of money off of those characters.

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Is This Cheating ....

Reading through a few other blogs and piecing together a few other conversations I've started thinking about this term "emotional cheating."

It's why I haven't posted in a few days. I want to figure it out, and I think I may have a clue now. What's different about emotional cheating from good ol' filandering? It's not about the physical. It's about your heart, and giving/sharing your feelings with someone who is not your mate/girlfriend/boyfriend.

I just really wonder if there's no physicality to it, if it's really cheating. I mean, if you're not doing anything but talking with someone other than your spouse/mate about your relationship and what you feel, is that really cheating? I don't think so.

No doubt, I'll be the first one to say that you and your mate must be best friends, and should be able to talk freely about all things and do all things in front of each other without embarassment from talking about periods to making use of lavatory systems in front of each other.

But I'm not so sure that when you talk with someone else about your relationship problems and seek happiness there that it should be considered going outside the relationship.

I have a plethora of platonic female friends. I talk to some of them often about most everything that's going on with me. I enjoy their company. So does that mean that I'd have to give up the depth of those friendships when I'm in a relationship just because there's some sect of my happiness that is derived from those people, and they're there to comfort me in moments of relationship despair? I think not.

If you're really grown you shouldn't have to get rid of platonic friends of the opposite sex for your relationship. You should be able to, again if you're adult enough, to not cross the physical boundaries.

And if you cross those lines, then you shouldn't be in your relationship. Point blank. But you're going to have friendships/relationships with other people - male and female. Should they be overly emotional where you're eluding or conspiring to physically cheat? No. If that's the case, you might as well cheat and be done with the relationship.

Ha finuto. that's one of the few things I can say in Italian. It's I have finished.

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Inappropriate Dialogue

"Y'all Niggas is gay" ~ Riley Freeman, The Boondocks

If you haven't heard, Ozzie Guillen, the manager for the Chicago White Sox, called Sun-Times columnist a fag a few days ago to a group of reporters while the tape recorders and cameras were turned off.

My thoughts? Boo-fucking-who. Is it inappropriate? Yeah. It is. But in society we do this everyday - use words that are "derogatory" to describe what we think of someone. Look no further than the words of Riley Freeman for my example.

Aaron McGruder, the creator of the Boondocks, had Riley purposely call two white dudes "gay niggas" to imply that they were weird and ignorant, literally. Most people just thought it was funny, and it is. But there was more intent beyond being funny and being a black dude who could get away with using the word "nigga" over and over again on cable television.

Same can be said with Ozzie Guillen. Dude, who is clearly an idiot for thinking that since he goes to Madonna concerts that its okay to call people gay, clearly didn't mean any disrespect to homosexuals.

He meant to and should have just said what he said today: "(Mariotti) is a piece of shit."

That would have worked. Ozzie wouldn't have been fined or reprimanded. He should have watched his mouth. He shouldn't get a break because he's Latino. He shouldn't get a break at all.

But I think it's a situation where we have to look ourselves as well and wonder how many times we've said something offensive or that's not politically correct. We do it virtually everyday, but in the confines of comfort and not in the public eye.

I guess I just think it's a double standard because Aaron McGruder can get away with saying something like that in a sketch little happen, but Ozzie Guillen can't call Mariotti a fag without reprimand.

It must be noted that I agree with both McGruder and Guillen. Those two white dudes in the Boondocks were ignorant and weird (they tried to kidnap Oprah and nabbed Maya Angelou instead), and Jay Mariotti is weak (at least I think he is for not going in the ChiSox locker room to face the music).

Oh yeah, I know you're wondering why there's a random picture of Chris Rock on this post. I haven't been able to post pictures like I wanted to with my top five comedians, and it finally worked. So I thought I make use of this feature although I didn't feel like lookin for a picture of Ozzie Guillen or Mariotti.

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No more "Curls for the Girls" ...

So last night I told Heathclaire that I planned on chopping off my bushel of hair today.

She lauded me with this faint "yay" (notice that it's not "YAY!") almost as to say "You should have done this weeks, maybe months ago. Now you might actually look right," but without saying it really. She didn't say anything aside from that - like twice.

It never seemed like she was a fan of the curls. But there are some out there including my moms. I always get compliments on it when I'm out, and I like it. But it had to go.

You see, understanding my hair is like aloof men understanding women. It ain't really happening - unless it's explained. Unfortunately for you, I'm not going that far into to detail except to say that I don't have to wash my hair every day to be able to make it look the way I want it to look.

It's gone or as K-Duck or any other Chicago Southsider would say "He gone!"

I went to my cousin barbershop, and I had to remind him of his joke about my hair whenever I let it fro out: "I'm your No. 1 fan" from The Incredibles.

But then we actually got into a good discussion as we always do. The question of the day, well, I've been asking it to random friends for the last few weeks, but ... Who are the five best comedians (stand-up) since Eddie Murphy?

Now, my cousin, the barber, is a comedian. No joke, he opened for Cedric the Entertainer just last week, and does shows all around the midwest. So his opinion matters. We actually ended up not being to far off from each other. Here's my top five, and a few stragglers. Our top four consisted of the same guys.

Honorable Mention: Katt Williams, D.L. Hughley, Bernie Mac, Kathy Griffin, Cedric the Entertainer and Adam Sandler.

5. Lewis Black - The most sarcastic white man I've ever seen, and you wouldn't think tight, sarcastic white men would be that funny, but Lewis Black pulls it off well.

4. Martin Lawrence - His movies are all whack, but if you have seen You So Crazy, then you you get the hype. Dude is mad crazy, but his real life stories are funny as hell.

3. Dave Chappelle - He's raw. Insightful, and not afraid of race issues at all. He's probably the edgiest of any of the comedians on the list, and I think that's why people love him as much as he does.

2. Jamie Foxx - All I have to say is, Have you seen I Might Need Security? If you haven't, then you couldn't understand why he's right here. But he's supposed to be.

1. Chris Rock - like fine wine, gets better with age and actually talks about the important things in life without a problem - politics, relationships, etc.

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I'ma Make It Do What It Do

"You gotta feel bad for Stan Van Gundy." ~ Rmattwill

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