On Second Thought
A beautiful smile,
Fractured by a fraction of a second’s second thought
Took my clip, aimed for her upper lip
And verbally started to whip her with my pistol
Gripped the pump, and wouldn’t let go.
This picture was clear as crystal,
There were words of mine she needed to know,
Sores in my heart I needed to sow,
So I reaped,
Opened up my book of meditations,
Started the process of edification
Because trying to conjugate her words
Was impossible without libation
From the pool of my heart,
See, without it, I’d be jumping out of hedges
Restrained by orders
From a judge who judged
Not my rationale, but in rations
He wouldn’t see my hurt, just my passion,
Or would it be rage?
Just glad I got through that phase
Unscathed, but not unblemished
See I left other situations unfinished
But not this one
This one had me caught up like Usher
Without a rubber,
Thank God it didn’t burn
Still I shoulda known better than to lay with her
Without protective cover
A tough lesson I had to learn
Excuses are foolish tools,
But I tell you,
she impregnated my mind,
And mine didn’t matter over hers
Said she’d chose a route that cost $315
Instead of the commitment we’d incur
And I just blankly stared at her,
It should have said it enough
Couldn’t believe she’d willing kill a piece of me,
That’s when I really wanted to erupt
She said she didn’t wanna make a mistake
I told her that’s what the majority of us were
And to take
the life of our child … we’d be the ones to suffer
Yet, she wouldn’t permit me suffrage
Although crowing for my jimmy
Pushed us to this edge.
Still couldn’t convince her
Of a potential life long pledge.
The thought put a hole in her mind
Like Mike in the Wiz
in one ear and out the other
When I said I’d
Even pick up another gig.
So off to the clinic she sped,
And I refused to give chase.
The battle was beyond me,
Shit, I couldn’t win even had I laced
My words around the feet of the Most High
So I fell to mine, and began to cry
Because I knew not what else to do.
I could pray for a miracle
But my spiritual seemed satirical
Because the empirical plan
Seemed to be slipping away with every second
And my second thought had me reflecting
Back on my back, and my decision to lay her
Shoulda been trying to save her
While savoring the moments of love’s simplicity
Instead of simply maming her insides
Are beaming with me inside
And there’s little I can do
Besides realizes
How much of a blessing
A seed really is
And how I should only spread mine
When the plan isn’t maming the kid.
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