Love Making Sense: The Concept, The Reflection

Michael Jackson was not that crazy ... back in 1988. Okay, the king of pop popped off the deep end when he held his child over a balcony. He definitely left the building when Ed Bradley interviewed him on 60 Minutes (and subsquently looked at him as though he were insane per Michael's responses).

Okay, he was gone before '88 when he started his friendship with Emmanuel Lewis and the animals. But in '88, when he dropped the Bad album, Jackson held his own and his brain together for at least five minutes.

I'll say that for one reason only, the song Man in the Mirror. These words changed lives, and they embody where this story begins and ends. I'm not going to post all of the lyrics, but here's a link (click here). Here's the chorus:

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, AndThen Make A Change

This is where I found myself, in my reflection. Remember that poem I wrote entitled A Struggle From Within? That's me explaining how I found myself.

Most of us think our struggle in this world is with outside forces, but it's really from within ourselves. No one makes you put down or wane off of the cigarette, beer, cheeseburger and shake or extra-marital affair but you. People help you along the way, but you make the decision yourself solely.

It's that process that causes these struggles from within.

It's when you realize that no one can create growth or change, how ever you perceive it, for you but yourself that you start the honest inventory of your character within. You change your ways when you see that your biggest problem, more often than not, is the reflection looking back at you in the mirror.

It makes you wonder if that angel and devil versions of you over your shoulders really do exist? When you look at your reflection or within, you should definitely see the angel, and his or her ways. (This is just a random joke, but I don't know who or what Michael Jackson sees when he looks in the mirror now.)

Need proof? Within the first chapters of Genesis, it says that God created man in his own image. Some versions say God created man in his own likeness or reflection (I'll explain this later, it's pretty deep). Flip a few hundred pages ahead to 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13 (The chapter of love):

11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.

I don't know if you find that to be lifting, but I do. It says that when you find yourself, you'll be able to see the reflection of yourself clearly and give up childish (or selfish) ways - and start giving of yourself as is expected. That's extremely powerful.

Now, back to Michael. I'm hoping he has put up his childish things finally. But who knows. All we can do is pray and hope that he again finds the Man in the Mirror, as we start that same search.

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Love Making Sense: The Concept, Giving

So yesterday, I cracked the door open to Love Making Sense. Today, I'm going to open it a little more. In my last post, I simply said Love Makes Sense. Today, I'm actually going to start trying to prove it.

(I'm writing my Cliff's notes version of this book on here - which means very few analogies just concepts - over the course of the next couple of weeks to kind of prep myself)

There are plenty of people, Christian and not, who would say that what Christ didn't make much sense. The Man allowed himself to be tortured, humilified and crucified even though he could have stopped it all at any moment, according to the way the Gospels were written. But when he said enough was enough (It's finished), he did so on his own accord, and apparently so that we might actually know life.

Believe the story or not, that's love in it's most pure form - a person giving up their life for someone else when they don't have to. Another way of wording it - a person freely giving of themselves.

The blueprint for this love, and any other form of love you can think of, is in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13 where love is freely interchanged with the word charity in different versions of the Bible. Think about what we deem as charity in today's world - giving freely to those in need.

It could be giving to your wife, girlfriend, mother, father, brother or sister, son or daughter, friend or foe, the post or milk man. But that's the first aspect of it, to give. Giving is the thing that bring about gratification. (I might get into the other aspects at a later time, but for today this is enough)

In this sense, it's quite ironic that people put so much weight into this idea of self-love. Lesson No. 2: At its core, love is not about self. That's the biggest oxymoron I've ever heard, and sometimes I even have to correct myself of this. I find myself at times giving friends this advice. But Selfishness or self-love is the exact opposite of what love (charity) actually is.

I think it's humorous to hear someone say, "You've gotta love yourself first." Think about it. If love is about giving to others, how is giving to yourself love? It's an interesting way thinking about it. I believe the proper thing to say is "You have to know yourself first before you start loving."

But knowing/finding yourself and where (in the reflection of your own cross) is a topic for tomorrow or the next day (I think I may right about something random later today or tomorrow like about Puffy (I refuse to call him P.Diddy) and his Proactiv commercial). Just know that finding yourself is the most important part of this whole Love Making Sense dialogue. If Christ didn't find himself, we would be a bunch of lost souls with no reason to live or die.

If you can't find yourself, you can't truly give love the way it's meant to be received or appreciate the depths of it.

Anyway, know that this is just what I believe, and I don't expect to start a cult or think you should bow down to my belief. I'm opened-minded to what you think/believe. Drop me a line, and tell me what you think love is/is not.

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Understanding YRUN2DP?

It simply stands for "why are you in too deep?"

It's a reminder to myself during the tough times to not think too hard, and to understand that the bad times will get better.

It's also what I'm going to have on the plates of my next vehicle. When people look at it, it reads "why run to D P?" Which doesn't make sense. They're thinking too hard, which means they're in too deep.

But that's not what this post is about. This entry is meant to explain this blog's purpose. I'm about to embark on this journey that I started about a year and a half ago. I know you're wondering how I started the journey that long ago, and haven't gone anywhere. Well, I've been too busy and consumed with other aspects of life, some good and some bad, to sit down and write a book about love's true meaning.

This blog has helped produce, re-create and fine tune my voice over the last several months. It has served as a vehicle for my emotions, thoughts and life. I think I owe this whole song writing trip I've been on to this blog, and the fact that I've been writing what I want to write how I want to write it since October when I started this blog, and it's progressively gotten better. I still love writing stories for the paper. But it's not the same thing because there's structure involved.

Now, though, it's time to really start writing. No, I'm not going to stop blogging. But I'm going to concentrate my efforts on this book.

What's it about? I'm glad you asked.

Some of you know already per conversations that we've had. It's titled Love Making Sense, and it's not completely what you think though the title suggests the obvious.

Have you ever been in a conversation where some says "Love doesn't make sense," and you actually agree? I've been there before time and again. One day, though, I actually started thinking about this verse in 1 John, Chapter 4. Specifically the end of Verse 8. It reads: God is Love.

I started thinking to myself: "Does God not make sense?"

That couldn't possibly be true. From that moment, I was destined to make sense of this Truth we know as Love. Love is Making Sense all around us (okay, that's a steal from Love Actually, but it's real). I'm going to prove it.

Whenever someone has dared to say "Love doesn't make sense" over the course of the last few years, I've retorted, "Are you saying God doesn't make sense?" It's a befuddling way to look at things; it puts life and the real meaning of love in perspective.

Anyway, I'm not going too far into detail because I'm not going to lose you. All I'm gonna say is that it deals with every type of relationship you can imagine including male-female, the love of things, sin, selfishness and finding yourself in your own reflection.

There are some deep concepts I'm going to try to unleash, and I can't wait to get started. I'm actually giddy right now.

So you ask, why am I in too deep(YRUN2DP?)? Because I believe in Love.

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Earl Woods, A Good Man

Tiger Woods' father Earl Woods died today. He was everything a father should be and then some. His son called him his best friend. I can't imagine what Tiger is going through, but I must say, he had a man who loved him the way a father should love a son. These are my respects.

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=2431912

Father, I Forgive You
Written by DAMON SMITH

So this story began
with a boy telling his son
He needed a man to be a man
Now, understand the logic, I could
But I misunderstood just what would
really make me
Never knew it would be you
who would forsake me
and take me
to the depths of hate
I never knew.

(Chorus)
I don’t know who to blame,
Some days I wish I couldn’t claim, you
You’re the one to fault
You’re the cause of so much grief,
Living without you is such a relief
But Father, I Forgive You per default

I wish that I could know you
I wish I could grow with you
But you wouldn’t have it that way
Father I forgive you,
I’ve learned to love and live, too
So things have turned out okay.

Your story proved to be untrue
You couldn't really reach me
when you never truly practiced
what you tried to teach me:
"Don't go through people,Go straight to the source."
But when you came at me,you were the one who came off course,
Of course, what more would you expectfrom lesser men,
the type quick to put himself beforehis next of kin?

(Chorus)
I don’t know who to blame,
Some days I wish I couldn’t claim, you
You’re the one to fault
You’re the cause of so much grief,
Living without you is such a relief
But Father, I Forgive You by default

I wish that I could know you
I wish I could grow with you
But you wouldn’t have it that way
Father I forgive you,
I’ve learned to love and live, too
So things have turned out okay.

(hook)
Even if you don’t apologize,
I forgive you
Even with all we’ve been through
Father, I forgive you

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Getting Off Waivers ...

Riding with Broham Rmattwill to the a local bar for the Heat-Bulls Game (D-Dub and the Heat won) I hooked up the i-Pod to his system.

I left my phone in the house, so as we pulled off, we had to immediately turn around so i could grab it. When I came back out, he was listening to an "old school" (somehow mid-90s isn't quite old to me yet) song. It was Lo-Key's Sweet On U.

So you don't know who that is? It's all about that Kansas City baby (though they were originally from Minnesota, they had some KC connection). The folks from the City should know what I'm talking about. Rmattwill didn't quite pick up on this one either. But I fast forwarded two tracks, and low and behold, there was another Lo-Key track, the more prominent I Got A Thang 4 Ya.

Rmattwill's head immediately started bobbing, and he began singing along. He remembered from his youth. In that moment, I was a proud older brother for a moment.

Fast Forward. We got to the Grandfalloon. Miss Summers, who I hadn't seen in a good eight months, met us there, and we had a blasted munching on Nachos, Maker's & Coke, etc. I forgot my camera, as usual.

We started talking about my new crush and how I had kicked it with her a few times before last year and before then. I asked Rmattwill if he remembered her at all. His response:

"Damon, you didn't talk to me last summer."

"My bad. I forgot," I replied.

"Yeah, I was pretty much riding the bench then," he said.

"The bench? Dude, I spent the whole year on waivers," I came back.

We both laughed hysterically, and gave the black man's high-five bka the hand pound.

I guess it's safe to say that I do have my swagger back. Coach has re-entered me into the starting line-up, and I'm refusing to come out. Twenty and 10 every night out. Guaranteed like Kobe's game-winner on Sunday against the Suns.

You sick of the sports analogies? I've got about 2,500 locked up in the closet. But I'll leave them there. I'll holler at you tomorrow. Until then, just know that "I ain't mad at cha."

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An E-mail to JB ...

My boy JB says he's writing a book about black relationships, and asked for a little feedback on the idea of the pseudo-relationship. Here's what I sent him ...

JB,
What's good ... I saw the post, and I thought I'd chime in for a second on the pseudo-relationship game. I think it's prevalent in the black community, but I also think it's just a current trend in life that everybody - white, blacks, latinos, everybody - is kind of hip to for some reason.

Not too many people want the real commitment that our grandparents gave in the 1950s, and those that do, as you've seen, get stuck with those who won't really commit.

While I don't think it's a horrible idea to be involved in a pseudo-relationship, I think it's not the smartest route. (Then again, maybe it's a sin because it is idleness.)

The pseudo-relationship allows you to date more than one person at once, and kind of play the field with doing too much credibility damage to yourself. (But in the end, most times you do damage, and hurt others in the process.)

But the thing we forget is that we are creatures of habit.

Remember back in the day, hearing that jargon about how the things we did, were taught and saw as infants and toddlers would affect us throughout our natural life? It's true. Same goes with adolescence and high school. So much of that has set the foundation for who we are as people today.

But that trend doesn't really stop. If you involve yourself in a pseudo-relationship, that is what becomes natural and what becomes habit, and as we all know, habits, like a drug they are, are hard to break.

In all, I think this is a trend that perpetuates this whole idea of the single-parent home, which hasn't been going over all that well over the course of the last 30 years or so. So that's not a positive.

I'm not sure there's a way to reverse this trend, but I think what might work is the idea of people actually having family values and relationship morals instilled in them during their youth.
Then maybe, even in high school and college, people will cherish the idea of relationship, minus the pseudo precursor.

But like I said, I'm not sure the trend can be reversed. This is a snowballing avalanche, and if you understand the dynamic of the situation, you just need to get out of the way, and don't get caught up in a situation like the aforementioned. Anyway, it's been real.

Peace,
D. Scott

If you have thoughts about this topic, I'd love to hear them leave a comment below ...

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I Vow To You ...

I promised you the best of what I've written. No bragging, but this is it. I hope you enjoy ... I think I'm actually going to buy a keyboard tonight.

I Vow To You
Written by DAMON SMITH © 2006

On this day, I pray that you
will cherish me for who I am
Forever more
I can't believe this is happening
You chose me to be your lamb
And It's you I adore
Now, grace us with your smile
Take your time and slowly walk that aisle
I can't wait until you're headed this way
So I can lift up your vail
Love, He told me we can't fail
So there are a few things I must say

(Chorus)
I'll love you the way, He loved the church
For with you, I know I've had a rebirth
Now over, is that lengthy but worthwhile search
I thank you for this moment of clarity
With my deepest gratitude and sincerity,
I vow to you my most excellent charity
My life, I lay it on the line
Believing in you through the test of time
Joy I will never cease to bring
I vow to you these things

Love, there's no reason to get nervous
What we're doing here today has its purpose
Just relax, and live in this love
Telling me what's on your heart
You know from you I could never part
It's you I place no one above
That smile I love is on your face
Your words are full of eternal grace
I'm glad you are here to stay
Now open up your soul
Go ahead, give me control
But first, there are a few things I must say

(Chorus)
I'll love you the way, He loved the church
For with you, I know I've had a rebirth
Now over, is that lengthy but worthwhile search
I thank you for this moment of clarity
With my deepest gratitude and sincerity,
I vow to you my most excellent charity
My life, I lay it on the line
Believing in you through the test of time
Joy to you I will always bring
I vow to you these things

(Hook)
I'll be patient
I'll be kind
Cherishing you
til the end of time
I will bear all things, I'll believe all things
I will hope all things, I'll endure all things
I've put away my childish being
So joy, to you, I will always bring
I believe you can already tell
In this love we have, we will not fail

Chorus to fade ...

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"Well, I Guess I've Got My Swagger Back"

So for some odd reason, the song writing didn't stop for a while last night. In all, I wrote eight songs between last night and this morning about a variety of topics dealing with love - watching old movies, wedding vows, the certainty of the one, pain caused by those we love most, etc.

This is some sort of epiphany, I know. I've been waiting for this for a while, and I think I know why it's come now. I'm definitely not going to post them all, but I think I'm going to try and do something with them.

This is one of my favorites because it's current to what I'm kinda feeling right now. I'm going to post the one I cherish the most a little later, and yes they will soon be copyrighted.

Thinking of You
By DAMON SMITH

It may have just been days ago
That we really met
But off of my feet,
Is where I’ve been swept
Already I can see the depths, of you
Lead to the Truth
So I have no reason
to be scared nor confused
Your words, your smile
Beguile my heart, they do
So many amazing thoughts for me
to insatiably muse through

(Chorus)
I’ll be thinking of you
When I wake,
In the morn, I'm thinking of you

I’ll be thinking of you
When I take,
My last breath, I'll be thinking of you

At night before I sleep
In that same moment,
I just hope you’re thinking of me, too.
(Repeat)

Constantly, in my mind you are
It’s like your words knew where to start
I didn’t want to give away this secret
I don’t fall this fast, this frequent-ly
My soul is immersed with your being
Could this be true, what I’m believing?
One question hearken my soul every time I pray
Could you be my missing rib molded from God’s clay?

(Chorus)
I’ll be thinking of you
When I wake,
In the morn, I'm thinking of you

I’ll be thinking of you
When I take,
My last breath, I'll be thinking of you

At night before I sleep
In that same moment,
I just hope you’re thinking of me, too.
(Repeat)

(bridge)
I have no clue where this is going
don't know if we'll stay grounded
or fly high like a Boeing
I just know I can't keep myself from showing
you how I feel, just want things to keep flowing ...

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