Sometimes, Envy Can Be Sweet

Heathclaire asked me to meet her at the mall on Wednesday so we could have a simple dinner at Panera after she got her nails done.

"Fair enough," I thought of the harmless trip and meal. But as I pulled into the mall parking lot, I realized what I got myself into. The mall was packed as though it were the day after Thanksgiving or the day before Christmas.

No, I didn't forget Wednesday was Halloween. I just forgot that parents and their costumed children raid the mall for all the candy corporations wish to doll out.

At first, it annoyed me. It took me 10 minutes to find a parking spot. When I got in the mall, all of the people and little people caused me to get lost in a place I walk around once a week. Weird, I know.

Then I started thinking about the kids. I thought about how if they took three trips around the mall they should probably get enough candy to last a year. Then I thought about how they'd probably eat all of the candy in 72 hours because they know little to no restraint.

Then I thought about the their innocence, and started overthinking. I got hooked on the idea of why children are important.

There are so many children out there who can be labeled as "unplanned" or "mistakes." I'm one. But seeing this kids made me realizes what their parents are supposed to get out of making life through a so called unplanned mistake.

The innocence and the purity of the children I saw Wednesday night represented all that's right with the world, and what we should strive for even as we press on toward being omniscient.

The children give us reason to hope and believe the mistakes we make as adults won't be made by their generation (though oddly enough, they make them, too).

But it (almost) made me want children right now. Not that I have someone I want children with (which is vitally important). I could see how having kids would motivate me to have to do right at all times because the innocence and purity of another person depended on me. Most of the bad habits would fall by the wayside.

And then I thought to myself, "Self, you need to be doing this for you anyway."

As Heathclaire and I made our way into Panera finally, I ran into a high school classmate of mine. I couldn't remember his name offhand. But we exchanged pleasantries and names (again).

Then he asked me what I was doing, and I gave him the obvious answer.

"Surviving."

I returned the question, and he gave me the obvious answer.

"Man, just chasing these kids around. Do you have any?"

"Nah, man. I'm waiting until I've got the picket fence and the right woman before drop my seed," I replied.

Jason, who is married with a 7-year-old and another on the way, smiled, dapped me up and said "Dude, that's the way to do it. Wait as long as you can."

I knew what he meant, but at the same time, I kinda envied him.