Oh Baby You ... Got What I Need

"Can we still be friends?"

This is one of the hardest things a guy or gal can hear from his or her signifcant other. For whatever reason. Another guy. Things were moving too fast. Another Guy. Things were moving too slow. Another Girl. Things weren't moving at all. Hearing the question "Can we still be friends?" is worse than "I slept with your best friend." Well, maybe not. But it's close.

A friend came at me with this situaiton earlier today, and this is what I told her, though nobody nowadays seems to be listening to good advice:

You need to say "Hell No!" drop them, and this specific conversation, faster than Sprint does a signal in the city where it's headquartered and let the phone ring if they call back. Leave it there, and give the situation some time to see what happens.

There are a few reasons why: 1. Avoiding the unnecessary jealous moments. 2. If they really want you, they will call and come back. 3. If they don't want you, they won't call and - more importantly - you won't waste more time.

Two girlfriends ago, I said fell right into the friends role trap - which is just a way so that person has something to do until they find something(someone) more interesting. I knew I wanted to keep the relationship going, and thought that being a good little Vick Damone, Jr. would get me back in the good graces of the Miss. Uh ... wrong answer. Wasn't happenin. She treated me just like she would any other platonic male friend on most encounters. Every guy I saw her with, and there weren't many necessarily, I had to know what was going on. Although there was nothing really happenin', I couldn't get it through my thick skull that what I wanted wasn't gonna go down. Once I stopped trying, I finally got the message.

In another encounter, I caught the words again - and of course thought I had more to offer the situation. This time, I said I didn't need any more female friends - which was the truth - and that it was all or nothing. I didn't initiate conversation with that lady for more than a month. I found ways, another lady friend, to occupy my time. But like clockwork, I got what I really wanted a relationship with "I still want to be your friend" girl.

And hey, if she didn't come back. Her loss, and better yet, you win because you didn't waste more time in something that was going nowhere slowly. The moral of this post: avoid the "just friends" bit. It could save you a few months of your life.