Know When to Hold'em ..

So, it's no real secret that I can play Texas Hold'em, and play well at that. If I had $10,000 to blow, I would be in Vegas for the WSOP this summer. No Doubt.

But I don't. So, I'm relegated to playing for free every now and then, and taking my friends money in home games. Sunday was a perfect day for such an occassion.

NCAA basketball. Minimal work and plenty of time. So I took up an invite at a game 45 minutes north of my house in a tournament-style game, which means you buy in for $10, if you lose, you're out (The winner takes all but the $10 the second placer put in).

I don't know why I typed all of that because I was eliminated within the first three hands. Let's say I got to Mikey's by 2:03. I was out of chips/asthonished by 2:09.

I won the first hand, and nearly doubled my $10. I lost the second hand to a guy named Potter when he sucked out on a flush draw (while I had top pair of Kings with an Ace kicker). That put a huge dent in my chipstack on hand two. I had just six bucks left.

I wouldn't quit call it a tilt, but I probably shouldn't have gone all in before the flop on the next hand no matter what. But I did with an Ace-Queen offsuit. Not a bad starting hand, but I certainly was called by one (King-Six), and was sucked out again.

My favorite/only phrase in Italian: HA FINUTO. TRANSLATED: I have finished.

I was done with nothing to do beside sulk for a few hours until the cash game started. When it did, I cleaned house, took names and their money.

We played until 9:30 p.m. I had to get back home in time to watch the Boondocks, and by the time I left, I was up about $50. ... I was pushing the guys around. Manipulating them however I wanted, and they were letting me.

The best thing about it was the last hand. Potter had been the only player I couldn't get a good beat on all day long. He had my number whenever we were in a Pot, no pun, together. But on the last hand, I didn't need a beat. I caught Pocket Aces. I knew it was time to leave ...

He had Pocket Tens in first position and went all in. ... He thought he had me, but he actually had little chance. Cha Ching!!!!!

HA FINUTO, BITCHES!!!

Needless to say, I felt like big shit for a bit. I left with a smile on my face bigger than Texas. It's the second week in a row I've laid the smack down on some candy-ass jabronis (sp) in Hold'em. You don't want nothing with me ...

But, ya know, if anybody wants to supply the $10,000 for the WSOP they can. We can split the winnings.