Thank God for Granting Me ...

...this moment of clarity, this moment of honesty. The world will feel my truth."

So two posts ago, my ability to have to converse with people of the opposite sex came into question. Not once, but twice.

Bad thing was, I could actually understand the complaints, but from a slightly different perspective. It's obvious that I'm from Mars, but I actually understand Venusian very well. Still, I guess I have my moments like most other males. The Soulmistress chimed in on this topic after cosigning on the belieanchica's arguement, and gave me this essay about relationships and why they fall apart because of communication, or lack thereof.

It's titled: Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?

It's actually pretty insightful, going into a lot of theories and tests most people wouldn't even think possible. But it kind of explains the typical male-female relationship, and why a man supposedly doesn't talk much inside of a relationship, and why we may tend to jump around in conversation. Here are a few excerpts:

Analogous to the physical alignment that women and men take in conversation is their topical alignment. The girls in my study tended to talk at length about one topic, but the boys tended to jump from topic to topic. The second-grade girls exchanged stories about people they knew. The second-grade boys teased, told jokes, noticed things in the room and talked about finding games to play. The sixth-grade girls talked about problems with a mutual friend. The sixth grade boys talked about 55 different topics, none of which extended over more than a few turns.

....

Switching topics is another habit that gives women the impression men aren't listening, especially if they switch to a topic about themselves. But the evidence of the 10th-grade boys in my study indicates otherwise. The 10th-grade boys sprawled across their chairs with bodies parallel and eyes straight ahead, rarely looking at each other. They looked as if they were riding in a car, staring out the windshield. But they were talking about their feelings. One boy was upset because a girl had told him he had a drinking problem, and the other was feeling alienated from all his friends.

....

These differences begin to clarify why women and men have such different expectations about communication in marriage. For women, talk creates intimacy. Marriage is an orgy of closeness: you can tell your feelings and thoughts, and still be loved. Their greatest fear is being pushed away. But men live in a hierarchical world, where talk maintains independence and status. They are on guard to protect themselves from being put down and pushed around.

So much of this is who I am, but reading this made me realize that I actually have been extremely spoiled to a degree with Double B. Not to say I don't have good conversations with other women, but she actually fully understands me and how I talk. I've never actually had to fight to have a conversation - unless we were fighting/arguing. There's actually a good balance of all of the things explained in the excerpts levied between us, which is actually quite rare within a male-female relationship.

I actually notice that with other female friends, even the ones I like a lot, my mind tends to wander a bit. I don't know if its a difference in likeness or if I'm actually that uninterested in general or if they're that uninteresting.

I guess I let it show a little more often than I would like. Sorry.

I've kinda dismissed the idea that a soulmate exists per relationship experiences of the last four years. But if there's one out there for me, even if we don't end up together, it's probably the Black Barbie, no doubt, per this conversational thing alone.

Dude, we could talk about a leaf on the branch of a tree for an hour, weave about a million different topics into the conversation, end up talking about the leaf and be laughing and smiling throughout the whole tree talk. We have enough inside jokes to make Bobby & Whitney jealous (and no we don't do coke or smoke the grass).

It's almost like we met on Pluto, and made up our own language, Plutian, and no matter how hard gravity, or whatever the hell it maybe, tries to pull us away from Pluto, we always get sucked back into our own little world of blissful irrationality, otherwise known as love.

Maybe that's why I never really give up.

"When your sense got that much in common, and you been (loving) since, your inception fuck perception, go with what makes sense." Jay-Z, Moment of Clarity