Bewildered ...

CAMDENTON, Mo. - Before Saturday, I had never attended a Catholic wedding. The bride and groom, Anitra and Dan, are really good friends from my first year back in Kansas City after graduation.

They are normal, good people. Anitra went to Mizzou with me, though I didn't know her at all until we were at the Star, and her new husband Dan, well he's a cool guy and a spitting image of the Ken doll.

So I didn't expect anything out of the norm for the wedding. Nothing crazy happened, but for a Baptist-bred young black man attending his first Catholic wedding, I must say it was an experience.

Three-fourths of the time I didn't know whether to sit or stand because half of the people, those of the Catholic denomination, in the audience were standing and the other half, the rest of us believers and non-believers, were sitting.

I didn't know when to pray. I didn't know when to clap because it seemed like everything was split in half. Half of the wedding party would be on their knees ( I didn't know Catholic church had cool knee-saving benches to kneel on) and the rest of sat their looking clueless.

So about halfway through the ceremony, I learned that Catholic weddings take a full hour because of Mass, which actually isn't a bad I idea.

"You know, I want to have an hour-long wedding, too," I told my co-worker Brandon, who made the trip to the Lake of the Ozarks with me. "Who wants to waste all of that money for 15 minutes? I don't. I need to make it worthwhile."

I started thinking: "Do I need to make the switch to Catholicism to have an hourlong wedding?"

An answer came in the means of communion. In the Baptist world, communion is a "first Sunday, chill in your seat, sip a little grape juice, eat a mini-saltine, sing a little hymn"-type affair.

Not so in the Catholic world. You file in line like you're about give up the goods, offering and tithes, but they give you something instead. Well, if you're not of that denomination, they ask you to cross your arms, and they bless you.

Well, I was one of maybe two people who did it (the rest sat in their seats and refused their blessings). But I felt so awkward and out of place. I didn't know whether to bow, and head back to my seat.

It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I think before my next Catholic wedding, I'm going to figure out what happens in the ceremony, so that I can be better prepared.

Anyways, congrats to Dan and Anitra! You two are two the best people I know, and you definitely know how to throw a party.