Can We Talk for Four More Minutes?

Belizeanchica (who now has me No. 8 in her myspace profile) called last night, and I ranted and raved about a variety of different things: the situation, Ms. New Booty, the job hunting, the book. a whole lot of just stuff.

I had a non-chalant somber mood for most of the day, and it showed in the conversation. But then, while flipping the channels, something magical (not really) happened. Tevin Campbell's Can We Talk came on VH1 Soul.

"Turn to VH1 Soul," I said. Belizeanchica could because she didn't have that channel.

I turned the TV up as loud as I could so she could hear it. I have this issue with playing music over the phone and thinking the person on the other end can hear it as clearly as I can. It's one of my most favorite things to do, and I'm sure I annoy my fair share of friends with it (sorry).

But back to the song. I sang this song to some girls in the sixth grade (back before I got all the bass in my voice, and couldn't sing tenor any more) to prove that I had a voice. It was my favorite song of the sixth grade.

I started singing as though I still had a flattop fade and Cross Colour jeans hugging my 26-inch waistline.

"Last night I, I saw you standing, and I started, started pretending, I knew you and you knew me too ..."

I sang the entire song, ad-libs and all. To my surprise, Belizeanchica, who woulda been in the second grade when the song came out, knew every word as well.

This is a moment when you wish 90s Black Music History was either a major at a University or a category on an Jeopardy episode you were a contestant in.

Answer: Finish this Tevin Campbell lyric, "Gir next, next time you come my way,"
Question: "I'll know just what to say, Can we talk for a minute, girl I want to know your name."
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So not long after Tevin went off the air, a song that I loathe came on - Avant's Four Minutes.

The best jeopardy answer for Avant.
Answer: Relative most likely to have portrayed R. Kelly in the Sex Tapes?
Question: Who is Avant.

That is this man's honest claim to fame. Sure he has a few albums out. But I just want someone to name a song that's going to last the test of time on any of them, please.

And he had the nerve to mimick Marvin Gaye's What's Going On album cover. Have you heard Four Minutes? Does Avant seriously think that song is anywhere close resembling any track on any Marvin Gaye album?

I think what bothers me most about this song Four Minutes is it's premise. Dude only has four minutes to get to his girl and say what he's gotta say before she out for good.

My issues with this:
1. If all you have is four minutes, it's too late.
2. If you're three minutes into the song, you don't have four minutes any more. You have one.
3. If you're not in her vicinity, i.e. you're on the phone and on your way, you've lost.
4. By the time you finish this song, i.e. four minutes later, you can't still be singing "I only got four minutes" because four minutes has passed. She's gone, and with her other man.
5. This premise is idiotic, and isn't deserving of air time. It's not as ignorant as Laffy Taffy, but it's close.