Finally ...

I walked into Vivace, aka The IceBar, laced with the searsucker suitjacket, DKNY tee and jeans.

I actually changed clothes, well, shirts three times in order to find the look I was going for, and I finally got it. See my efforts were directed at impressing the young lady that this playlist was meant for, considering she slid into town for an early weekend.

We kept the first embrace short, but sincere and somehow, within 30 seconds of me getting to the door, found ourselves on the makeshift dance floor grooving to the sounds of a dynamic two-man band.

The song sounded so familiar as if I'd just heard it, but i couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then the chorus kicked in ...

"Me ... and ... Miss ... Miss Jones. We gotta a thing, going on ..."

The corners of my lips turned upward with a slight showing of my teeth. Freddie Jackson's classic couldn't have been a more fitting song for the moment.

Just the start of a good evening that seemed as though it would take care of itself.
--- Thursday, about 11:45 p.m.
We slide into Blonde, three guys two girls, and find a way past the $10 cover for men. Yeah, a $10 cover for a club in Kansas City on a Thursday night. Go figure.

I hadn't stepped foot in Blonde for almost six months, but little had changed. Superficial fronters dancing with their ignorance vailed behind the music because they really don't have much to say and aren't about much more than you see. Yeah, not necessarily my spot, but some of the music hit the spot.

The DeeJay caught us all off guard with MowtownPhilly, a Boyz II Men classic. We crooned out every word as though our names were Michael, Wanya and Nate.

Two and a half Bacardi and cokes later, I'm in chill mode with my peeps, making eye contact and non-verbal convo with newbies ready for the chance to truly unleash the jones.
---
Friday, About 2 a.m.
Blonde is closing. It's finally time for good conversation, no matter how late. Otts' patio, next to Blonde is the next destination. There you can hear yourself think, talk, chew, swallow. A brand new enviroment in comparison to Blonde.

Now, it's just the young lady and I.

We talk in circles about life, personal struggles and other random ish. We close down Otts at 2:50 with an unhappy wait staff. After about 20 minutes in the car, the young lady asks if I want to head somewhere ... Chubby's.

Somewhere in there, on the way to Chubby's or before that or when we got there, the conversation finally begins ...

"I think I'm ready for something new," I said, blindy hinting around the idea of me being with the person before me. "I feel like that's what I want."

Then the truth came out.

"I don't think that you're emotionally available," she said to me. It was something I'd heard before, but she just kind of threw it right at me as though she were saying 'you're not ready to commit to me or anyone else' (although we hadn't completely expressed "like" at this point) but not really saying it.

Somewhere in the mix, she gets to a point where I can tell she's about to talk about "us" and I just stop her dead in her tracks before she can really let it out.

"You know I am like stupid about you, right?" It really wasn't a question, but I made it one to alleviate the pressure I felt. Finally, I let out what I'd been trying to say for a few weeks now. My actions said it, but I hadn't really expressed it through words.


"Yeah," she replied with a smile on her face. "I've kind of picked that up."

She didn't say much more to it at that moment, just that she felt comfortable with me. I told her that I don't think I've ever been so relieved to tell someone what I felt about them. I also said that I felt as though I was/am emotionally headed in her direction, and don't feel like I have any ties.

She knows my "situation," as do some of you. I don't talk about it or write about it much because there's little to report. I'm not really emotionally there, or for that matter there at all.

"If given the chance, I want to make things work here," I said. "I don't play games. I don't go back and forth. I just want to be here."

The conversation flowed for a few more hours (5 a.m.) before all was said and done. It's one of those things that could take some time - maybe it will work, maybe it won't.

I can tell you I feel no different than I did yesterday aside from relieved. I feel like I've stumbled upon rarity as far as women are concerned. This woman is real, honest and maybe most important, just a good person. It will be interesting to see how things unfold because one of a million things could happen. I'll say this much, I'm perplexed and intrigued and there's absolutely nothing "wrong with the thing I and this young lady have going on."