NO. 3: The Missing Black Family

Ed's Note: We're taking a look at what I consider to be the five biggest problems facing black America today in an effort to no be reactive. Nos. 3 thru will appear over the next few days.

One of my cousins sent out an e-mail request after Thanksgiving. He wanted to be sure that we had a massive family gathering for Christmas dinner. Seems that things haven't quite been the same since family members in my grandparents generation started passing away.

Holiday dinner, one with at least 30 relatives running in and out of one house, used to be a family staple. In some ways, it's now a bygone memory.

But that's just a small piece of it. So is the Black Family. I'll give BET this, last night it aired American Gangster: The Story of Ricky Ross, and it was a necessary tool in understanding the demise of the black family. It may not be fully responsible, but crack cocaine, which the documentary said was brought to America in droves by men doing work for the CIA in a roundabout way, played a decisive role.

Want to understand more about that statement, just google Ricky Ross and Gary Webb. You'll read for a few hours, but you'll understand how corrupt the government is.

I'm off track, but I thought I'd throw that in.

We all know how important the woman has been to the black family since the days of slavery, and when the black woman decided to use, well, let's just say a lot of kids were watching themselves. Thus, the cycle of grown ass kids.

I've seen many documentaries that assert this point. But I believe there's more.

I had a conversation recently with an old high school teacher of mine who is now a counselor. She told me that the overwhelming majority of the students she sees in her office with problems are from single-parent homes.

Most of us grow up in split or single parent homes, and it's a disadvantage. Any person who has two good parents in the home has a leg up on their counterparts.

If you want to understand better the two problems that follow, it starts here. If there's no one to teach right from wrong, no one will learn. If there is no positive example, no one will learn. Ignorance will breed.

The Solution: We need to stop having children out of wedlock (For the record, I'm single and have no children). I don't know how that happens. But it's what we need.

If parenthood is actually planned and not accidental, then your children won't be incidental. You'll actually care instead of cursing yourself once you realize you've conceived a child. It's suppose to be one of the greatest gifts in the world, but the majority of the people treat the idea of birthing a child like its a death sentence.

The Black Family deals with how the parents cherish their child and their loved ones. The more time you spend with your family, immediate and extend, the better chance you have at improving the lives of those people, especially the most youthful generation.

Parents, take your kids around their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles (exclude the crazy uncles and the aunts who can't cook, please).

It could start an easy start, simple like Christmas dinner.