Do What You Do, At Your Own Risk

All of you know how much I absolutely hate text messaging. I think its “negro” technology as described on the Boondocks.

Well, I found something else I hate about cell telecommunication. It’s a confession that I’ve been longing to share with my friends for quite some time: I don’t listen to voicemail messages.

It’s true. I’ll only listen to a voicemail if I see a number I don’t recognize and the new message symbol pops up on my phone. But if I know who you are and you call me, don’t leave a message. It will be deleted without me hearing it because chances are I’m going to call you before I listen to the message.

I don’t care if it’s funny, important or obsolete to my life. I won’t hear it.

I’m not sure when I made this decision. I just know somewhere along the line while covering high school sports, I’d get 10 to 15 messages a day between my work and cell phone. I’d spend an hour a day on average just listening to messages. I can't tell you how many daytime minutes I wasted listening to unnecessary voicemail.

I started listening to the first few words and then deleting. At some point, something snapped, and I just started deleting messages while listening to the number knowing that I’d call whoever it was back.

Five minutes ago, I deleted 10 messages that had been left over the last few days. It took me 30 seconds compared to the six minutes it would have taken me to listen to them all.


If I were a complete asshole my voicemail greeting would say the following:

“Hi, you’ve reached Damon Smith, you can leave a message if you want, but chances are, if you know me well, I’m not going to listen to this message. Just know that I’m going to call you back if you leave me a message. Do what you do at your own risk. I’m just warning you. Have a blessed day.”

Good thing I'm a great guy and I like people, huh?