JUST (DON'T) DO IT

To any spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend who is considering murdering your significant other:

This is an open entry to you. I'm not going to take too long in making this point, but I feel like it's one that definitely needs to be made somewhere. If you are pondering the idea of killing your spouse, stop now. Don't follow through with that dumb-ass thought. You cannot get away with it, and I'm going to tell you why.

Over the last 25 years of my life, I've seen plenty of episodes of Unsolved Mysteries, America's Most Wanted, CSI and Forensic Files. I watched the OJ chase and case live in the mid-90s. I lived through the whole Laci Peterson ordeal.

All of these things have taught me this simple fact of life: you are an absolute idiot if you think you're going to kill your spouse/significant other and get away with it.

You have a better chance of taking HGH and steroids and hitting 74 home runs in a single 162-game season than you do of getting away with killing your spouse/homey-lover friend.

Don't be an demented idiot like Bobby Cutts, Jr., who allegedly killed his girlfriend and mother of his two-year-old son and likely his unborn daughter. If you're having Cutts-like thoughts, push them out of your mind.

You will be the No. 1 suspect, and you will go down. More over, you will ruin the lives of your children, if you have any, and cause plenty of undue stress to all involved.

That's all. My prayers go out to the Davis family and to Bobby Cutts wife and children.

dmansmi