The Big Forehead

Tyra Banks once served as a standard, the most beautiful woman in the world on an average day.

I never understood it. On her best days, in her best shoots, her head often took the shape of one of the aliens that nearly took over the world in the film Independence Day, a look that never appealed to me.

I couldn’t understand it. How could someone with a lopsided, melon-shaped head be the most attractive woman in the world? A big cranium surely should be the downfall of a woman’s looks. Not the beckoning call of her beauty. I mean, these are the same girls we call “bighead” in the fifth grade. How did they become God’s gift to man?

Then I started to think. Almost every woman I’d give a score higher than an 8 had one thing in common: the patented Tyra forehead.

Some were symmetrical, and others well, they were imperfect like Tyra’s. But for some unfounded reason, I still found them to be the ones who I endeared myself to most often.

So I decided to make a list of the plausible reasons men are innately attracted to the big forehead like the female peacock is to the male with the most beautiful array of feathers.

No. 1: Most of the girls I know with big heads are smart. Maybe there’s some sort of correlation to smarts and the actual size of the head.

No. 2: It’s nearly impossible to screw up the forehead kiss.

No. 3: If you somehow screw up the forehead kiss, you can blame it on the fact that you had entirely too much head to find the perfect spot to place the peck.

No. 4: If someone calls your woman big headed (full of herself), you can actually take that as a compliment.

No. 5: Because Tyra Banks has one. Anything Tyra has, we men seem to be attracted to it.

No. 6: If you get one of these women to fall in love with you, you’ve got a leg up on the rest of us because these aliens are about to take over the world.