So Saturday night, Heathclaire called me asking if I want to go out with her and her out-of-town visitors.
I met them at one of my favorite KC Spots, Vivace aka the IceBar. They had a little late dinner and martinis. I had a few cocktails, and then it was off to Zen (Tao) also formerly known as the Grand Emporium (which also is the place where I saw John Legend before he was a Legend, and my debit card was thieved.)
Got all of that?
OK, we get there, pay the cover, and head to the dance floor. It's packed, and I mean ridiculously packed. So full that I felt like I stepped in an 8x8 sauna with 50 people I didn't know. To make things worse, they were all throwing bows.
It was 1999 college daze all over again. So we left the dance floor, went to the bar and indulged in a few shots of Patron (it always gets you right for the wrong situation - i.e., this one). We tried the dance floor again, but there were too many impolite people flinging body parts - including size Double G breasts that some woman made touch the floor - around the spot.
Needless to say, we went back to the quiet, chill bar. Things remained calm for a while until I saw my fifth or sixth Halloween costume. It was a white guy in a white sailor's outfit, which included a set of male daisy dukes.
He got his drink with his female companion and then walked away from the bar, and then we saw it. What was it? It was this unmistakable shit stain on the back of this dude's shorts.
I shit - no pun - you not. The color left was an opacity-full brown that confirmed that he didn't even have on underwear to protect himself.
I looked at one of Heathclaire's friends. She looked at me, and we embraced in a hug and laughter about what we had witnessed.
We didn't say a word until the dude was out of sight, and then we told our party what we had just seen.
And no, we didn't tell him about it. I didn't know him, so I had no reason. What an interesting way to kick of the Halloween week, huh?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I Shit You Not
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Just a Few of ...
... my favorite hip hop favs. One of my friends e-mailed me wanting a playlist of what I considered my favorite hip hop songs from a specific era. I gave her this: a sampling of a specific sound and era of hip hop. Thus I throw a little Kanye and Lupe in the mix. Let me know what you think, and what else you'd add to this working list.
Common's I Used to Love H.E.R.
Mos Def's Ms. Fat Booty
Jay-Z's Dead Presidents II
Notorious BIG's Juicy
Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day
Dr. Dre's Nuthin But A G Thang
Outkast's Elevators
Eightball & MJG's Space Age Pimpin
A Tribe Called Quest's Bonita Applebum
LL Cool J's Around The Way Girl
Wu Tang Clan's C.R.E.A.M.
Nas' If I Ruled The World
Lupe Fiasco's Kick Push
Nas' The World Is Yours
Kanye West's Get Em High
Doug E. Fresh's Keep Rising to the Top
Eric B. & Rakim's Don't Sweat the Technique
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Just an FYI on my movie game ... and other stuff ...
Michael Clayton is the movie of the year thus far. It makes me want to rethink everything I've ever written, and write it again. The monologues are moving (The crazy dude in the movie should be nominated for the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award).
The storyline is surreal. And the subtle twists of fate and issues of integrity will toy with your heart and mind, and force you to see it again so you can again try understanding what made it so good the first time.
And amazingly, it gets better - the second time.
The Brave One is a close second, but it's not on par with the interwoven story of Michael Clayton. It's instead a grimy tale about fear, and what happens when it consumes the fearless. Yeah, I've seen a few good movies recently.
Why Did I Get Married is okay. There some amazing writing in it, and then there's some "what the fuck were you thinking when you wrote this"-type stuff. In my estimation, it's Tyler Perry's second-best release to date behind Diary of A Mad Black Woman.
That's it. See all three, and you won't be disappointed. I'm telling you so.
And up next of course is American Gangster. Here's a link to this amazing piece from 2000 on Frank Lucas. It should help put some of the Frank Lucas story in perspective before you see the movie.
And while I'm thinking about all things American Gangster here's a list:
1. Jay-Z is killing them right now with Roc Boys and Blue Magic.
2. The dudes who ratted TI and OJ Simpson out are "so not gangsta right now" as Riley Freeman (yes, the Boondocks is back if you didn't notice) would say.
3. But it's also "so not gangsta" to put yourself in the middle of either of those types of situations these days.
4. Machine Guns? Whatever. Silencers? What the hell does TI need silencers for? Was he planning to blaze somebody for real? Damn. Guess he won't be doing any American Gangster promos.
5. I haven't watched them yet, but I can't wait to see the BET Hip Hop Awards. Supposedly Kanye gave back an award and not too many people knew where TI was (The show took place literally five hours after TI was arrested).
Thursday, October 11, 2007
True Story ... For Some
On Second Thought
A beautiful smile,
Fractured by a fraction of a second’s second thought
Took my clip, aimed for her upper lip
And verbally started to whip her with my pistol
Gripped the pump, and wouldn’t let go.
This picture was clear as crystal,
There were words of mine she needed to know,
Sores in my heart I needed to sow,
So I reaped,
Opened up my book of meditations,
Started the process of edification
Because trying to conjugate her words
Was impossible without libation
From the pool of my heart,
See, without it, I’d be jumping out of hedges
Restrained by orders
From a judge who judged
Not my rationale, but in rations
He wouldn’t see my hurt, just my passion,
Or would it be rage?
Just glad I got through that phase
Unscathed, but not unblemished
See I left other situations unfinished
But not this one
This one had me caught up like Usher
Without a rubber,
Thank God it didn’t burn
Still I shoulda known better than to lay with her
Without protective cover
A tough lesson I had to learn
Excuses are foolish tools,
But I tell you,
she impregnated my mind,
And mine didn’t matter over hers
Said she’d chose a route that cost $315
Instead of the commitment we’d incur
And I just blankly stared at her,
It should have said it enough
Couldn’t believe she’d willing kill a piece of me,
That’s when I really wanted to erupt
She said she didn’t wanna make a mistake
I told her that’s what the majority of us were
And to take
the life of our child … we’d be the ones to suffer
Yet, she wouldn’t permit me suffrage
Although crowing for my jimmy
Pushed us to this edge.
Still couldn’t convince her
Of a potential life long pledge.
The thought put a hole in her mind
Like Mike in the Wiz
in one ear and out the other
When I said I’d
Even pick up another gig.
So off to the clinic she sped,
And I refused to give chase.
The battle was beyond me,
Shit, I couldn’t win even had I laced
My words around the feet of the Most High
So I fell to mine, and began to cry
Because I knew not what else to do.
I could pray for a miracle
But my spiritual seemed satirical
Because the empirical plan
Seemed to be slipping away with every second
And my second thought had me reflecting
Back on my back, and my decision to lay her
Shoulda been trying to save her
While savoring the moments of love’s simplicity
Instead of simply maming her insides
Are beaming with me inside
And there’s little I can do
Besides realizes
How much of a blessing
A seed really is
And how I should only spread mine
When the plan isn’t maming the kid.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Operation Overload
Today is a crazy day in television for me. I normally don't watch that much, but tonight I will be glued to the tube like Lindsay Lohan to a bottle of Patron.
Here's a sample of what I'm up against. It's not fair I tell you. It's not fair.
Everybody Hates Chris, Girlfriends, The Game - which is about the change the game concerning black sitcom right now - all on the CW tonight.
Monday Night Football (The Cowboys, my second team behind the Chiefs, are on the big show) and MLB Playoffs (A-Rod and Jeter try to keep Joe Torre's job).
That's the norm for me. I can juggle all of these and be alright. But tonight, things get crazy.
VH1 has the Hip Hop Honors and I Love New York 2 (I'm gonna come back to this in a minute).
But to top everything off, The critically-acclaimed and scrutinized The Boondocks second season premieres tonight at 10:30.
This is crazy. On any regular night, I'd watch (almost) any of these programs, but tonight I will be confused.
The one thing I won't be watching is I Love New York 2. That chick is a jigaboo for real, and she and Flavor Flav are a disgrace to the black race. It's like the modern day, prime time Jerry Springer/Maury.
Now, I have a problem with the show period. But it got bigger when they decided to run the show right up against the BEST WRITTEN HOUR OF BLACK TELEVISION SINCE THE COSBY SHOW/A DIFFERENT WORLD THURSDAY TIMESLOT (If you don't know, I'm talking about Girlfriends/The Game on the CW).
Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, I'm that pissed. We, black people, have a chance to be entertained by two good story lines but VH1 is going to throw there jigaboo TV on at the same time and compete. That blows. Three words for VH1: PLAY MORE VIDEOS.
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As we head into Hip Hop Honors here's a thought: But did Busta, Timbaland, 50 Cent, LL and Dr. Dre all go on the Barry Bonds diet at the same time like it was going up their batting average?
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Buildings
This world is fucked up like Tyson is
We’ve tattooed its face
Disgraced what its maker’s created
Burnt it down like Rison’s
Home can’t be found
Because my heart is a part
From the depth of my sound
Resounding in corners
Where coroners
Are cornering
The cause of the effects
In our streets,
buildings keep rising
Condo owners are advertising
Our streets, they poltergeising
And I’m surmising
That they’re building these buildings
On the backs of our cause, B
Cause we let’em
Heartbeats momentarily pause, Regretting
them mishaps from yesteryear
Sure, Yesterday’s near,
But when your soul’s in the proper place
Tomorrow’s in the clear
Everclear of what Reagan and Bush did
Don’t worry, they’ll be crackin like a snitch
Before Jehovah and his kid
The first will be last,
And they’ll have to follow our lead
We’ll watch their monuments fall
On this we can’t agree.
To disagree that the egregious aggressions
Of those men could be colorblind blessings
Lessons for us to learn from
Oppression for us to yearn from
Professions for us to churn from
See I’m professing
That we stop regressing
And start suppressing
These pressing issues
And begin to issue anew agenda
Stop making babies like Brenda
Quit fighting over spoiled milk
This is the referenda
Because our body could be good
Together,
We could up-end,
What they ended up screwing
I know the message been brewing
But eschewing this issue any longer
Will prevent our sons from accruing
What’s been in store
For scores upon scores
Yeah, we deserve and want more
But we’ve gotta work together
To make it better
so scores in store
won’t have to implore
the same broken record that’s been ignored
for so long
Before we say so long
Let’s make this promise lifelong
to teach each other
to reach each other
to feed each other
to build each other
before they tear us down, too.
