A Taste of the Rainbow

Belizeanchica sent me an IM this evening that struck a chord.

She explained her day to me, like always. But then she started telling me about something Work Dude said today.

Apparently, Work Dude (understand that we give everyone who is insignificant a pseudonym, i.e., Big Dude, That Bitch, Don't Answer, Married Man, That Ho, Eggs, New York Guy, Fatty Girl. Not to say any or some of these people exist. They are examples) said something quite gay to her today.

By gay, I do mean something that could make Work Dude come across as homosexual. No offense to gay homosexual people anywhere. This is about something an allegedly straight man said that might make you think otherwise of his sexual preference. That's all.

He says to her (paraphrasing): "You know, I have a bit of a man crush on Daniel Craig."

The two things that aren't paraphrased: "man crush" and "Daniel Craig."

There are a few major problems with this statement.

Problem No. 1: No Heterosexual man should ever - and I mean ever - say he has a "man crush" on anyone. Admitting you have a man crush on a celebrity is like saying you're a metrosexual in 1985. In 85, saying you were a metrosexual equated to you having homosexual sex with the entire city.

The world wasn't ready for metrosexual then, and it's not ready for men to start admitting that they have man crushes.

There's one way the term man crush should ever be used: You allow you're friends to jokingly say you have a man crush on someone and vice versa. You don't admit that you have one.

Problem No. 2: How can you possibly have a man crush on Daniel Craig? I know there are some of you who are reading this like "who in the hell is that?" Right. Daniel Craig is the last guy to play James Bond aka 007.

He did great in that film. Awesome movie. Can't tell you anything else he's done. Ever.

When you're friends tell you that you have a man crush on someone it's usually Jay-Z or Michael Jordan or Lil Wayne or Tony Montana. Trust me, there are mad people (aka dick riders) right now who are buying knee-pads for Jay, Wayne, Jordan and Tony.

Not Daniel Craig. No. Saying this makes it seems as though you really like him like him. If you lived in England, maybe this might be more understandable. Then again, you just admitted you had a man crush. There's only one understanding.

What does this mean? It means Work Dude is fruity. We suspected he might be playing for the other team a month ago. I'd said I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case based off of the things Belizeanchica told me previously.

But after this Bag of Skittles moment? I'm 92.7 percent sure he's willing to taste the rainbow.