Deja View: We Still Look Alike

The Super Bowl didn't start for another hour or so. So chili, small talk and beer were there to fill the stomachs, minds and time until the game started.

My boy Youngin and I we were just playing catch up in the kitchen talking about God knows what (poker, sports, poker and more sports probably) when it happened. What's it? Well it refers to one of the classic examples of blind racial insensitivity.

One of my old superiors from my old gig entered the house party, and came to the kitchen. She made her rounds to say hello to everyone. She got around to Youngin and I.

"Happy birthday to you," she said while sort of looking me in the eye.

Mind you, my birthday is in middle of August's sweltering heat. It confused me. This woman knows who I am. I worked under her for three years. So I started thinking (quickly of course). Was this some sort of weird icebreaker you use when you haven't seen somebody in a year? No. What could it be? I didn't know, so I just replied almost immediately.

"Well, thanks, but my birthday was six months ago or so," I said.


"I thought your birthday was last week or the wee before," she said.

I shook my head no, and looked at Youngin. He had this grin on his face, and I couldn't figure out why. And I, oblivious to what had really happened in the moment gave my birthday a marker.

"No, it's in August," I said. "I had a big party. Youngin was there."

Youngin still had this smile on his face, and he nodded in agreement. I couldn't quite figure it out. I can't tell you what happened to the dialogue there with my old boss. I just know she walked away almost immediately.

About 15 minutes later, after letting the issue sit for a second in my mind, I finally figured it out. The Last King's birthday was just a few days ago. The Last King is a young black male who holds a similar job that I once held. She had totally confused me for him.

I immediately asked Youngin, "so that's what you were smiling about?"

He and I got a great laugh out of it in the moment more so because it was the second time that same sort of thing has happened between The Last King and I.

The sad part about it is that we look nothing alike. Nothing. To prove my point, around halftime, he and I had a grand conversation about the difference in our hair textures.

He shaves his head bald because his hair does little for him. I, on the other hand, am part-De Barge, and my hair is long and curly. That alone is enough, but to keep it going, we have different head shapes, different voices, different clothing styles.

It makes no sense for anyone to confuse he for I or I for him. None. I originally laughed it off because it's one of those things. We all know there's a healthy percentage of white people who think all black people look alike.

We all know it's not true. What is true is that not enough people, white or black, focus on people of the opposite race, and this sort of thing happens. It happens every day.

It happened to me at least once a week in college. It's a part of life. But as the Last King said, "it's a little different when your boss does it."

I can't disagree.