Keg O' Soulmate: All Tapped Out

I'm still on this SITC kick. An episode I watched last night questioned how many true loves you get in a life.

If you get zero, one or maybe, if you're lucky, two. It defined a true love as someone who forever altered who you were and the way you thought.

If it's that simple of a definition, I think I'm already at two. But I also subscribe to the theory that you should learn and grow in each relationship you venture into and out of in your life. The next should be better than the last. It should take you to new heights.

For me, the question is, am I tapped out? Is there little left in my keg o' love? There are days when I wonder because I have become fairly pessimistic toward the notion of flights of fancy. I know what real love is, and its definition is drastically different from what the majority people perceive it to be.

But with the bloom off the rose, does that mean I will never experience the whole "soulmate" feelingagain especially considering that I've ran through two previous ones?

Eh, I don't know. Frankly, I'm not sure I care about find a "soulmate" right now. I'm more concerned with getting my life on the track that isn't headed for another train and imminent disaster.

Plus, I'm not sure I want to play that game with anyone else (Pessimism currently oozing on my keyboard). I don't want to make believe love is more than what my life's motto says it is (Fear little. Love big. Give more. Expect less.).

I think all I want is someone, in due time, that shares similar interests and beliefs, someone I can hold a good conversation with consistently and is cool with letting me "do me" when I want to do me. That sounds bad. By "do me" I, of course, mean chill on my own so I can write and think.

I think that's all I want.

I don't want a person who thinks finishing my sentences is the end all, be all. Really, I like completing my own thoughts. And I definitely don't need someone telling me they love me and blowing bullshit ass kisses over the phone EVERY time I talk to her. To that, I simply say, get the FUCK outta here.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I started off saying I think I've reached that SITC limit of two soulmates, but I guess, the way I'm thinking these days, that isn't such a bad thing at all. Nope, it's actually quite grand.