Why is the physicality of it so important?
(note: this is the final post in the "YRUN2 Double B" Three Part Series. I know it's been long, but I've cleared my head. )
Eighty percent. That's the percentage Double B gave me when I asked her how much my weight had to do with why she hasn't made serious move to make our relationship work. I've had about a month to ponder that thought.
Initially, I told her, while completely in the dumps because I realized what our real issue was, I could understand what she felt (I'll explain this). But I understood wrong. Things have changed drastically.
Think about it, 80 percent. What that really says is that 80 percent of what Double B "wants", not needs, in a man is physical. While I suppy an abudance of the other 20 percent (what the girl knows she needs), I don't meet expectations where they apparently matter most.
Eighty Percent. That is as shallow as shallow possibly could be. It makes me put this whole situation in a new perspective, realizing that I really never had much of shot no matter how stimulating the conversation and/or recreational relations are for the two of us both. To throw a true dagger in it, it's really not her, but what other people think that weighs, no pun, on that 80 percent.
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(note: this is the final post in the "YRUN2 Double B" Three Part Series. I know it's been long, but I've cleared my head. )
Eighty percent. That's the percentage Double B gave me when I asked her how much my weight had to do with why she hasn't made serious move to make our relationship work. I've had about a month to ponder that thought.
Initially, I told her, while completely in the dumps because I realized what our real issue was, I could understand what she felt (I'll explain this). But I understood wrong. Things have changed drastically.
Think about it, 80 percent. What that really says is that 80 percent of what Double B "wants", not needs, in a man is physical. While I suppy an abudance of the other 20 percent (what the girl knows she needs), I don't meet expectations where they apparently matter most.
Eighty Percent. That is as shallow as shallow possibly could be. It makes me put this whole situation in a new perspective, realizing that I really never had much of shot no matter how stimulating the conversation and/or recreational relations are for the two of us both. To throw a true dagger in it, it's really not her, but what other people think that weighs, no pun, on that 80 percent.
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I had a long conversation with Ms. New Booty - though she's no longer new, nor potential booty for me anyway - last night about attraction. She asked me one of two questions I dread answering: On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate yourself?
I laughed to play off my nerves considering the topic, and answered honestly. All physicality-encompassing, "a six." I've known my response to that question for quite some time.
"I probably shouldn't have answered that first. I should have made you tell me what you think," I threw out there after I had answered. I have a big problem with doing that - answering questions before I'm ready because I'm honest. "So what would you give me."
I was really nervous now. I hadn't asked somebody that question since high school, and I got an eight from what I considered to be the finest girl in the school, who I happened to be talking to at the time (I gave her an eight, but she was closer to a 9.8 at the time).
"A six as well, that's what I thought, too." Ms. New Booty replied. She talked about how I have decent facial features, and my hair ... well, I have a nice grade of hair, while pretty much every other male in my family is bald.
I was relieved because I thought I'd lost points for the "too much" weight thing, which it's apparent that I did. But my facial features are not a problem, and "kept hope alive" in this vain realm of life. I'm not a bad looking guy, I just have a little bit of extra weight, and I know it.
(Note: I won't ever rate somebody I'm talking to because I think that shows a lack of tact. That's the second question I won't ask because the one time I did it, I got cursed out by 9.8 bka Hot Chocolate.)
I laughed to play off my nerves considering the topic, and answered honestly. All physicality-encompassing, "a six." I've known my response to that question for quite some time.
"I probably shouldn't have answered that first. I should have made you tell me what you think," I threw out there after I had answered. I have a big problem with doing that - answering questions before I'm ready because I'm honest. "So what would you give me."
I was really nervous now. I hadn't asked somebody that question since high school, and I got an eight from what I considered to be the finest girl in the school, who I happened to be talking to at the time (I gave her an eight, but she was closer to a 9.8 at the time).
"A six as well, that's what I thought, too." Ms. New Booty replied. She talked about how I have decent facial features, and my hair ... well, I have a nice grade of hair, while pretty much every other male in my family is bald.
I was relieved because I thought I'd lost points for the "too much" weight thing, which it's apparent that I did. But my facial features are not a problem, and "kept hope alive" in this vain realm of life. I'm not a bad looking guy, I just have a little bit of extra weight, and I know it.
(Note: I won't ever rate somebody I'm talking to because I think that shows a lack of tact. That's the second question I won't ask because the one time I did it, I got cursed out by 9.8 bka Hot Chocolate.)
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So here we are. I'm a six, give or take a few pounds, maybe I lose a point. On a good day, Double B is a nine (I don't grade that high that often). On an average day, she's an eight. Honestly, she's one of the best looking young ladies I've ever seen in my life. Men try to holler like they're at 7/Eleven.
But the truth is, who really gives a fuck about any of this? Everything I've written thus far has a flair of vanity to it that disgusts me.
Aside from Porkchop1, every girl I've dated seriously has been very physically attractive to me. But there was always a whole lot more there - from PollGurl to Jump-in-front-of-a-car gurl to Hot Chocolate Gurl to Double B (who really should be called Double D ... lol).
The thing they all had in common including Porkchop1, who when I look back I question why I was so sprung so to speak, was that I had a good conversation/vibe with each of them. Every last one. The conversations with PollGurl and Double B, I must admit, were on a different level, but they all held my interested and i was attractived to who they were, the goals and aspirations they had and most importantly how they treated me.
Not the physicality. For me, it plays about 30 percent into the equation. But it's more so about how you carry yourself. Are you a kept person or are you sloppy and sloth? Those are the things that really show when I talk to someone, and take the attractiveness up or down. Not physical appearance.
My best friend Q-Boogie, a heavier woman, could have had me on a spit if she wanted back in 98 (a story to be told another day). One of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, her weight wouldn't play a factor at all.
So why is it such a huge deal to society and to the vain worlds of a college campus? Why can't you just fall for the person you fall for and people just accept what you have for what it is?
It's almost like an interracial relationship where one family can't stand the idea of their white daughter marrying a black man, and the daughter calls off the engagement, and loses out on a good-healthy relationship, because of her parents' ignorance and her weakness.
I loved Porkchop1 for who she was despite her flaws and shortcomings, despite what my friends would say to me constantly about dating someone as "unattractive" as her. All that mattered was that I saw a beautiful person. I didn't care what anybody else thought, and why should I have?
I guess this whole topic is one of those things you can't really delve into because everybody sees things differently. I just wish that I didn't have to play the fool, and realized that what people thought of my weight was that big of a deal in this situation with Double B.
I could have made a decision long ago and realized that I really shouldn't be with someone that weak and insecure. I mean, what if I lose the weight, things are cool for five years and then I put it back on? Will I lose out on all I put in because of something as silly as what people think of my weight at 31?
I think about how after a child or two, she could possibly balloon, and how I wouldn't have a desire to chastise or ridicule her at all, just love her all the same as the Good Book says to do.
In the end, the only thing that matters is can you talk to that person? Does your conversation flow and do you work well with each other? Can you see yourself wrinkled and gray on the porch talking about how much that tree in th front yard has grown for 20 years.
So here we are. I'm a six, give or take a few pounds, maybe I lose a point. On a good day, Double B is a nine (I don't grade that high that often). On an average day, she's an eight. Honestly, she's one of the best looking young ladies I've ever seen in my life. Men try to holler like they're at 7/Eleven.
But the truth is, who really gives a fuck about any of this? Everything I've written thus far has a flair of vanity to it that disgusts me.
Aside from Porkchop1, every girl I've dated seriously has been very physically attractive to me. But there was always a whole lot more there - from PollGurl to Jump-in-front-of-a-car gurl to Hot Chocolate Gurl to Double B (who really should be called Double D ... lol).
The thing they all had in common including Porkchop1, who when I look back I question why I was so sprung so to speak, was that I had a good conversation/vibe with each of them. Every last one. The conversations with PollGurl and Double B, I must admit, were on a different level, but they all held my interested and i was attractived to who they were, the goals and aspirations they had and most importantly how they treated me.
Not the physicality. For me, it plays about 30 percent into the equation. But it's more so about how you carry yourself. Are you a kept person or are you sloppy and sloth? Those are the things that really show when I talk to someone, and take the attractiveness up or down. Not physical appearance.
My best friend Q-Boogie, a heavier woman, could have had me on a spit if she wanted back in 98 (a story to be told another day). One of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, her weight wouldn't play a factor at all.
So why is it such a huge deal to society and to the vain worlds of a college campus? Why can't you just fall for the person you fall for and people just accept what you have for what it is?
It's almost like an interracial relationship where one family can't stand the idea of their white daughter marrying a black man, and the daughter calls off the engagement, and loses out on a good-healthy relationship, because of her parents' ignorance and her weakness.
I loved Porkchop1 for who she was despite her flaws and shortcomings, despite what my friends would say to me constantly about dating someone as "unattractive" as her. All that mattered was that I saw a beautiful person. I didn't care what anybody else thought, and why should I have?
I guess this whole topic is one of those things you can't really delve into because everybody sees things differently. I just wish that I didn't have to play the fool, and realized that what people thought of my weight was that big of a deal in this situation with Double B.
I could have made a decision long ago and realized that I really shouldn't be with someone that weak and insecure. I mean, what if I lose the weight, things are cool for five years and then I put it back on? Will I lose out on all I put in because of something as silly as what people think of my weight at 31?
I think about how after a child or two, she could possibly balloon, and how I wouldn't have a desire to chastise or ridicule her at all, just love her all the same as the Good Book says to do.
In the end, the only thing that matters is can you talk to that person? Does your conversation flow and do you work well with each other? Can you see yourself wrinkled and gray on the porch talking about how much that tree in th front yard has grown for 20 years.
Not, "Do we look good to other people?" Beauty fades, especially when that's all you look for - or it's 80 percent of what you want - in a person.
I guess some/most people just don't get it including Double B.
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I recall one of my old co-workers seeing Double B for the first time and saying brashly "Don't you think she's a little out of your league?"
Yeah, she is. I'm playing in the Majors, and unfortunately she's batting ninth for the Double AA farm club squad. I still have tremendous love for her as I'm supposed to, but it's not my loss at this point. Like I said earlier, "it's all hers," said in the Taye Diggs Best Man voice.
I guess some/most people just don't get it including Double B.
----
I recall one of my old co-workers seeing Double B for the first time and saying brashly "Don't you think she's a little out of your league?"
Yeah, she is. I'm playing in the Majors, and unfortunately she's batting ninth for the Double AA farm club squad. I still have tremendous love for her as I'm supposed to, but it's not my loss at this point. Like I said earlier, "it's all hers," said in the Taye Diggs Best Man voice.
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