A Fond Memory from My Past

There I was, brush in hand, not a soul around me or so I thought.

The brush serving as my mic, standing in the mirror in my briefs with no shame, I - the age 13 innocent version of vickdamone, the one who had vocal abilities - whaled to the sounds of Shai's "If I Ever Fall In Love Again."

... But to my satisfaction, baby you were more than just a friend,
And if I ever fall, in love, again, I will be sure that the lady is a friend ...
And if I ever fall, in love, so true, I will be sure that the lady just like you ...

Yeah, baby, yeah .... my, my, my, my, my, my
I swear the next time she'll be my friend ....

(I do my best spin move, but get stuck when I see my father, who had come home early from work, smiling and looking at me with belt in tow, not on waist)

I think to myself, "Oh shit, this is embarassing, but why does he have that belt in his hand?"

He says with a smirk: "You're singing is nice, and so is the dance, but you didn't fall in love with those dishes like you were supposed to, so this belt is about to love your ass."

Whack, upside my ass.
"When ..."
Whack.
"I"
Whack.
"finish"
Whack.
"whoopin"
Whack.
"your"
Whack.
"ass ... you're gonna wash those damn dishes, boy."
Whack. Whack. Whack. Whack. ...

"Yes, sir," I replied while sniffling pretty hard.

Shit. Damn. Motherfucka (I had to complete the D'Angelo trilogy, good thing no guns or handcuffs were involved).

Tattered and bruised, I was certainly confused about what to do. How could I wash the dishes with that much pain in my buttocks? I couldn't walk ...

I certainly didn't want to sing about falling in love anymore.

Does anybody else remember incidents like these? This was actually my second to last whooping. The last one is a storyt that will probably go to my grave. Maybe some day I'll tell y'all about my worst whooping.

All this to say, I don't think I'm gonna whoop my kids. I just think that I won't say anything until they're asleep, and then force them to wash the dishes, dust, vacuum, sweep and mop at like 2 a.m. That should do the trick. I just don't like violence.

But for now I'm out.