At Least I Didn't Look Like A Fool ...

There I sat at the bar at the wedding reception immersed in a conversation with a booze-infested bride's maid named Lisa.

My mindset remained far from that of a Wedding Crasher (so stop thinking it), though she would have been a perfect candidate for Vince "I'm happy to have Brad's hand-me downs" Vaughn or Owen "Doesn't any else know that my nose is crooked as hell" Wilson.

After about four vodka-lemonades and some other spirits, Lisa decided she would tell me her life story (well at least the part about her divorcing her husband of less than a year, and how she let him have everything but the furniture she came into the relationship with).

With nothing better to do, considering that I knew all of seven people at the wedding, I listened.

"I gave it all to him," she said confidently. I think it was the alcohol. "The house. The boat ... He was just a lazy fuck. He didn't do anything."

"... I guess all you really need is your sanity," I replied. "If you don't have that, you don't really have anything."

"You know?" she said. "Anitra (the bride) said you would be a good conversation."

"Oh yeah? What else did she say about me?"

"She also said you'd be the best dressed person at the wedding," Lisa said.

Slightly befuddled, I questioned when she said this about me. Lisa said the night before.

"I wish I would have got the memo," I thought, sitting there with a well blended concoction of a yellow dress shirt, tan slacks and a sear sucker sport coat with a tie to pull it all together. "I would have brought my game to another level."

She looked me up and down for a second.

"You did just fine. You look good, and Anitra was right."

I'm black, but if i was white, I woulda blushed. After that, compliments on my attire poured in one after the next, and I felt alright (aside from the massive sweat caused from the sunlit room and six-hour reception/party. Don't worry, I refused to take the searsucker off and let the sweat show).

I guess we can look at it this way: I may have felt like a fool at my first Catholic wedding, but at least I didn't look like one.