Editor's Note: This is what happens when you end up wandering off into space during a boring meeting about nothing. Also, this is just a joke.
Synopsis: Three black graduate students come up with a series of fanatical schemes (stealing and selling fried chicken wings) to raise money for their tuition payments to stay on track to earn their degrees.
The Cast
Dave Chappelle .... Thurgood Jenkins
Kanye West …. Scarface
Sean Patrick Thomas .... Brian
Charlie Murphy .... Kenny Davis
Nia Long .... April Wingsmith (A Hooter's Girl & Thurgood's new girlfriend)
Anthony Anderson ... The Guy on the Couch
John Witherspoon .... Samson Simpson (Columbia's Chicken Wing Kingpin)
The Plot: It's the start of yet another semester at the University of Missouri-Columbia and three struggling graduate students (Thurgood, Scarface and Brian) are struggling to make ends meet aka they're trying to find a way to payoff last semester's tuition bill so that they can enroll for classes, get into their dorms after 11 p.m., eat at the campus dining halls and student charge their books.
There's a dillemma though because they used the tuition money they got from their parents (this really doesn't happen) to bail their friend Kenny Davis out of jail after he was arrested leaving a resturant, Hooters, without paying his bill. It was the third time that he had done so in the last year - he also had runins at Buffalo Wild Wings and Willie's (a CoMo thing) - thus his bail was set at $40,000.
The fellas scrounged together that cash, and got him out of jail. But all of their classes were dropped in the process. In order to get the money to pay off their bills, the guys devise a grand scheme to steal all of the fried chicken ( and assortments like hot sauce) in Columbia - from the grocery stores, Hooter's, BW3, Willie's, the Heidelberg, CJ's and anywhere else chicken wings are sold - and sell it once the demand for chicken wings is at an all-time high because they have the entire supply. Stay Tuned ...
(There's More to Come) ...
Monday, January 23, 2006
Fully-Fried: The Black Man’s Sequel to Half-Baked
Sunday, January 22, 2006
He Get it From His Mama
Flava Flava's mama is just as butt ugly as he is. I just thought I'd let you know that.
Click Here to Read More..Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Still Holding This Truth to be Self-Evident
(Editor's Note: I purposely decided to write this a <> day two days late in honor of that thing we black people call CP time)
Because of a great alert from a good friend, I finally caught an episode of the Boondocks on Sunday night. I've frequented the comic strip, and read all the reviews about how good this show is supposed to be. I must say, it lived up to the hype. Believe it.
Here's the gist of what went down in the episode titled "The Return of the King." Instead of dying back in 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. went into a 30-plus-year coma only to wake up in the present day and see "his people" struggling - that's a nice way of putting it - to just uphold the standard set by King's predecessors.
Sure. We have made some progress. King couldn't discern whether or not to get the 20- or 40-gig I-Pod. Techonolgy is great.
But we've regressed tremendously. Two poignant examples: King watched BET (breathe) after midnight. Also, while trying to start a political party, King, who knows little about modern media, employs a media planning group to put together a rally to announce his intentions about they new party.
Of course, things get mixed up, and it ends up being a real party with booty bass and booty shakin. King has to pay just to get in the door, then struggles to get to the mic and get his words across to his people.
He then goes on a tirade that starts with him calling out pretty much ever breathing black person today. His rampage starts with a "You no good for nothing trifling niggas ..."
Seriously. Can you imagine King spewing out the N-word over and over again to get a point across? This is the same man "Who had a dream ..." The same man who stood for non-violence and handling things in peaceful manner.
Yet, he went off like somebody had stolen his Laffy Taffy and I-Pod. And though I spent the majority of the time laughing, it actually made me think, and then think harder.
1. Is this what Martin, Malcolm and Thurgood, would think of our people today?
2. BET really is a piece of shit.
3. Negroes are always late.
4. Black people never support something unless it's a party. You'll see every person you met in college, even those that have graduated, at a party, but never seem them at a political awareness or mentally stimulating event.
5. We don't have any real black leaders right now. No, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton do not count. I'm talking about somebody credible who stands out in the public forefront.
6. Bill Clinton would have been perfect had he been black.
7. He would have never been president, and he wouldn't have been able to live down the incident with Lewinsky. (Think Jesse Jackson here)
8. Would Martin really be as revered as he is now if he weren't killed in Memphis in 1968? Would JFK?
9. Okay, aside from the In Living Color, The Jamie Foxx Show and Girlfriends re-runs, BET is the worst television network on the air.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Where Would I Be ...
So I threw out this question to an old friend yesterday in one of those random regular conversations: What would my life be like if Polegurl had a lick of sense back in 1998?
A little background, you say? Sure. Polegurl is the the female that I first girl that I was truly infatuated with post high school. No, high school doesn't count because that shit was ... high school. True Love was about as foriegn to most people in high school as language is to a six-month-old baby.
Anyway, I fell for Polegurl after about a week of knowing her my freshman year of college. I remember calling her room number, back before everybody's grandma had a celly, even when I knew she wouldn't be there just to leave a message. I'd walk damn near a mile to one of Mizzou's student unions just to walk her to her dorm room almost every night. I can't say that I had ever laughed or smiled that hard in my life before she came along. I was lovestruck and love sick.
But a major problem existed. She had a boy-friend in Kizza City. I hyphenated the word on purpose because this truly was still a boy. He was supposed to graduate high school in 98, but was on track to do so in 2000. Need I say more?
But at some point (It's blurry at this stage in life) she chose to be with him, and leave our fling for someone else. She didn't end up staying with the loser boy-friend, and ended up in another situation and eventually married. We had a few close encounters when we were both momentarily single, but never ended up back together.
I just wonder what my world would be like if she actually chose me back in the late fall of 98. Where would I be? I would have never experienced the awkwardness of KPat. I probably woulda never met Black Beauty, and been able to expierence a conversation that transcends the idea of calling someone out of his/her name or sexuality for fun. I may have never had any of the experiences I've had.
Shit. I might honestly be married with child or a 25-year-old divorcee. Who knows?
These are just some randumb thoughts coming out of my head. Speaking of random, hear's the No. 1 reason I'm glad I didn't end up with Polegurl:
1. The given name, Polegurl, comes from an incident where I told the aforementioned that I was going to act as though i was a stripper pole, and I wanted her to do something seductive. After I put my hands together straight up in the air, Polegurl decided to attempt to swing around my body. Needless to say, she fell to the floor. She was okay though because she had enough cushion, her ass, to land on. ... OUT.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
A Penguin-Like March ...
"I think the biggest factor is that films aren't connecting with the audience. I mean, look. March of the Penguins. How much did that movie make? I'm telling you, it's my belief that people went to see that film because there was nothing else to see. If there were good movies in the theater, they're not going to see a documentary about penguins. " ~ Spike Lee
So for some reason beyond me (I think I was drawn in by a friend who is fond of little animals), I wanted to finally see the Penguin Documentary. Anybody who knows me knows that don't rent movies. I buy them.
So when I saw March of the Penguins on sale for $14.99 at Wally World, I had to go through with the purchase. Now, I'll admit. I was slightly skeptical at first. It took me nearly an hour just to watch the first 2o minutes, and then I took a long (two-day) break before finishing it up last night.
I'll say that it was just okay. Intriguingly interesting. But just okay. There was one thing that really stood out to me, though. The likeness of the mating game in penguins and the black middle class social entity.
Here's an excerpt from Morgan Freeman's narration. Compare it to the stereotypical black middle class mating game and you'll understand.
"Because there are fewer males than females, hostilities amongst the females are inevitable. A taken male instantly becomes an unavailable male. So occassionally, a female will try to interrupt the courtship. The men don't seem to mind. They just wait for the fight to end and take the opportunity to preen. They're not that different from us really?"
Catch my drift?
Ordinarily
Ordinarily,
I would be able to see
Right through all the bullshit
You continually throw at me
But I can’t,
Can’t let you go
Still trying to let you know
That old with you I wish to grow
Yet, in an indirect way, you continue to say no,
But that in any common situation,
All games aside
You’d stop playing the fiddle
And I’d cut loose my pride
Truth be told,
All would be well
There would be foreclosure on your heart
With no intent to again sell
Sold to the highest bidder
Who knew how to produce
The best figures, in return
You’d give your everything
Laced with the security of my truth
The hurt of the past
Would lie in pass
Every point of argumentation left moot.
Hey, it would be nice,
But we walk an extraordinarily interesting path
Ordinarily, one I wouldn’t take
But for reasoning unbeknownst to me, I’m up to the task. ...
#30#
I feel so good just because I actually got through a damn poem ...
Fallacies Abound ...
Sorry that I've been M.I.A. for the last week or so. But I told you I have a new black, shiny sleek best friend that will do whatever I want whenever I want. Let's just say, I've been exploring those options often throughout the last six days.
I didn't really have anything to write about specifically, so I'll just throw out some random thoughts. Maybe I'll find a way to make it all work together.
1. 12 of 13. I feel really bad for the families of those miners in West Virginia. Can you just imagine believing that your loved one is alive, only to find out that the word you had been given was false? Fallacies of life or death, a situation I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
2. Herm Edwards. The guy who is apparently going to be the next coach of the Chiefs. So he said like a week ago that he was content as the coach of the New York Jets. Yet, right now he's working on a contract to come to the Chiefs. Most people recognize Edwards as a stand-up, trustworthy guy, but doesn't this just make him seem like a liar?
3. False Hope. There aren't many things I hate in life - habitual liars, bad breath, small gums, overly-confident people (okay, there's a list that could go on for days) - but this sits near the top of the list. There's nothing worse than believing in, hoping for and working toward something that has no merit. You want to piss me off, give me some sense of false hope.
4. Make-Up. Look at the word, and it works well with this theme. Make-up is another way of saying "Not, really real." I don't have a problem with women wearing it. I have a problem with women who feel like it's a sin to step 2 feet out the door without it. You know, a beautiful woman is someone who can step out of the house without the cake products and feel comfortable about herself, and her look. ....
So I've given you a few random thoughts that have gone through my warped mind, and I've come to the conclusion that there's nothing more important than the truth - be it in the tragic miner's story, dealing with the media concerning you leaving for a new job, hope and women who wear Jim Carrey like Masks.
... My randumb truth for the moment: I'm about to finish watching the March of the Penguins. Though I dogged this movie in a previous blog, I had to see it. Somebody said it was good. I'll get back on this with a review ...
I'm out. Peace, Love and Hair Grease (No Jheri Curl, please).
Monday, January 02, 2006
Brand New, Brand New, Brand New, Brand New ...
I don't want it unless it's a Brand New I-Pod or obsession.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm not big on new things. If I go to Wendy's I'm getting the same thing every time, two orders of chicken nuggets. Same thing with Chinese Food, chicken fried rice. and when I go to the mall, I always hit up Express and Banana Republic before any other stores.
But I think I've found my new best friend. She's black, mobile, shiny on the backside and now she does what I want whenever I want.
Yes, I'm a technology freak, but I only have a mild case and after about a year and a half of wanting an I-Pod, I finally decided to pick one up, the one with the video capabilities and all.
For about the first hour I had it I couldn't even get it to turn on, and properly function at all. Of course, that was because I didn't read the directions like every other man. I actually contemplated taking the shit back to the store.
But I got it working, and started to download the 1800-plus songs I have on my CPU on the Pod overnight, and when I woke up I had my very own personal juke box.
I could finally here my compilatitions of John Legend, Brian McKnight, Maxwell and GIW (If you don't know, don't ask) songs. ... Yeah, my GIW playlist is off the charts, but that's a story not for the blog. Maybe for a Zane or Dickey book or something. ...
Also, my good friend DeDe got me hooked on this logic game called Sudoku, these crazy as number puzzles that can keep you going for hours if you try the hard ones.
I bought a book of the games, and also found a website that has new games on it every day. They can be easy and hard. I recommend trying them just to confuse yourself for a while. .... here's the site: http://sudoku.com.au/
I'm Sorry for 2006 ... Already ...
stilljammin (7:19:26 PM): your latest entry was a lot about nothing sier
stilljammin (7:19:32 PM): *sir
dmansmi (7:20:03 PM): damn ... I guess you're telling me I need to up my game ...
stilljammin (7:20:56 PM): no i'm just saying i didn't run to panera for you to have all these "N/A"'s and "I dunnos"
stilljammin(7:21:12 PM): lol ... that's funny ...
dmansmi (7:21:32 PM): so what you're saying is that what I write needs to be at least worth a bagel?
stilljammin(7:21:41 PM): i'm like what is this? i thought this was going to be a detailed report of 2005
dmansmi (7:21:49 PM): or a Tuscan Chicken sandwich ...
stilljammin (7:21:56 PM): damn skippy. it cost 2.35
stilljammin (7:22:04 PM): i need to be reimbursed
stilljammin (7:22:21 PM): what do u know about the tuscan chicken sandwich? n/a
dmansmi (7:22:34 PM): It was good in 2005 ...
