Massage of My Life

ST. LOUIS - So I made a fairly spontaneous trip to the STL this weekend. I worked my way out of a bad assignment for work that would have sent me on a four-hour trek west of KC into the abyss known as the fields of corn and wheat.

Instead, I took a 30-minute flight east for a two-day escape to see the Chlogee. The synopsis of the weekend: The Itis is still alive. If you don't know, you betta ask somebody, preferably not me if you can't catch on in the next few sentences. But we ate at IHOP, went to the mall and then slept. Then she took me to this classy grille and market called Lucas & Park. Must say, the salmon I had, and the duck I nibbled on was the shit, then we slept.

After a mild, yet cool (full of Mizzou reunions) evening out on the town Saturday night, we woke Sunday morning and snacked on sausage and scrammbled eggs. After eating, I immediately took a two-hour nap while Meet the Fokkers played (AS-HOOOLLEE!).

... Too much eating, too much sleeping. Itis. I felt like I was back in kindergarten all over again.

Now, aside from seeing Chlogee for the first time in a year, I must say the best part of the trip was my undesired trip to The Sharper Image inbetween the trip to IHOP and the first nap of the weekend. Chlogee has some sort of infatuation with this place. I told her that she reminds me of Heathcliff Huxtable with her desire for weird gadgets.

We were in the store for about five minutes, and were walking to the door. Instead of walking out, we hung a left in the store, and ended up sitting in these $2000 massage chairs. Now, I thought that these things would be a joke.

But with the Itis settling in, and a trip to the bed not in the immediate future (it wasn't that far away though) we thought we'd sit in the chairs for a minute, and get a lil rub. Dude, Immaculate.
That's all I can say.

I haven't had a massage that good in easily four years. Females aren't made with hands that could dare grip my back/shoulders/ankles like that at once. It was amazing. I promise you, Heaven wasn't that far away, and if I had $2000 to blow, I would have bought one as soon as I got back to KC.

After 15 minutes, I still didn't want to leave the chair. I just wanted a plasma TV carted in front of me with Everybody Hates Chris, Boondocks and Girlfriends re-runs on, and I would have been great. That would have been Heaven.

But I had to get up, before I really fell asleep. It was that good. If I get a few minutes later, I be back with why St. Louis is a better city for young black professionals than Kansas City, but for no other reason. Fuhgetabout anybody who says SODA. It's pop, bitch.

Click Here to Read More..

It takes (LOVE) to make a man ...

"We weren't around as much, and we were the center of my dad's universe. … If my father was here today, I'd forgive him and apologize to him." ~ A.J. Detwiler, a Pennsylvania high school wrestler who witnessed his father murder his mother and then looked on as his younger brother Corey killed their father Andrew in self-defense as he raised a gun toward his sons.

At this point in life, I don't know if I could forgive my father for what he's done over the course of time. It's not this bad, but it's bad enough. I admire A.J. heart, but I don't know? Here's where my head is now ...

So this story began
with a boy telling his son
that he needed a man to be a man
Now, understand the logic I could
But I misunderstood just what would
really make me
Never knew that it would be you
who would forsake/brake me
and take me to the depths of hate
I never knew.
But your story was all untrue
You couldn't really reach me
when you never truly practiced
what you tried to teach:
"Don't go through people,
Go straight to the source."
But when you came at me,
you were the one who came off course,
Of course, what more would you expect
from lesser men,
the type quick to put himself before
his next of kin?
You're a coward more akin
to Tyson when he wouldn't answer the bell
something like that chicken,
You purposely attempt to fail.
It was a different view from age one-two,
I believed your words as though they were truth.
But at two-five, the game's changed.
Still, you remain the same
Running like a child from children
You didn't want to claim.
Don't trip,
Game recognizes Lame
and right now, you're looking real familiar
Sure, we're familia,
but Lucifer, not Lee, should be your name.
there days I wonder if through you he came.
But hey, your sin in the end,
will be a win-win for us all,
because united we'll stand
and alone we'll watch you fall.
beat dead or deadbeat,
Father, it's not really unique.
I'm ok if we don't speak,
until the day your heart stops it's beat.
Now, I don't know how it's going to end,
Don't care, I just know that it will.
Just here to inform you that when that day comes
My world will be anything but still.
On that day, I'll assume the role of a man
i'll dissolve my disdain for you with a newfound love,
But nevermind, that's something you couldn't comprehend.

Click Here to Read More..

Spitting Fire ...

If truth be told,
I could easily spit fire
from my heart to your soul
In days passed
it would be easy for me to be that cold
And cruel
But I'm finally above being a fool
beyond using worn-out tools
to fuel the inequities of your mind
it's far past time
that your time passed
No harm, no foul
I won't even put you on blast
On its own, your heart will find its own cast
to mend the wear & tear
you've caused from a lack of care
I'll just sit back, relax
and enjoy the ride
knowing the grass grows greener
when fuel isn't gassing a man's pride ...

Click Here to Read More..

I didn't write this ... I promise

though I could understand how you might think that I would have. This is unreal, and if only you could tie all of the loose strings together, you might too understand. But I think that the soulmistress and elle understand.

This originated from the pen of soulmistress.blogspot.com.

Untitled: To Elle

You'd rather hate me than to love me,
Rather argue than agree,
Rather just walk away from me
than help me deal with my disabilities,
You'd rather hurt me than to help me...
chew me out,
not build me up,
Adding your molehills to my mountains,
but want to act like nothing's up,
You'd rather just move on without me,
when you know I need you most,
Pretend to trust,
yet really doubt me,
Walk straight though me like I'm a ghost,
Defend your giving,
and condemn my taking
While pretending you never recieve,
Say you're sorry,
but keep hating,
When I love you more than you could ever concieve,
You slice me while I'm falling,
Then watch me try to pick up the pieces,
Make me feel like I don't deserve you,
Treat my struggles like diseases,
Find someone to put before me,
When the going gets too tough,
Act as if you never knew me,
When the trying gets too rough,
Bring to life my own worst nightmare,
When it starts to get too real.
Call me crazy for reacting,
but really... how am I supposed to feel?

Click Here to Read More..

An Ether-filled Takeover ...

Yes, the break's over and I will not lose.

So I've been getting my fill of Jay-Z and Nas. I never really grew up that big of a fan of either one. Though I did have, I lose CDs like everybody else, the Life and Times of Sean Carter, Vol. 1, 2 and 3.

But I'm listening to the Blueprint, Stillmatic and The Black Album thoroughly for the first time ever, and I'm impressed. Of course, I'd heard both Ether and the Takeover when they first were released, but I still can't believe these cats were at each others throats like they were.

And then to find out that they're working together? What's the world going to come to next? Is Osama going to have dinner in the White House and call a truce with GWB? Doubt it.

But I find it quite hilarious, and quite ingenious, that these two are about to collaborate. They are honestly two of the best lyricists alive right now (You could throw Ludacris, Talib Kweli and Common in that mix as far as I'm concerned - the order is yet to be determined).

I just wonder what made them think now was the time to do it. Why join forces with somebody who claimed to have slept with your wife or somebody who said "I rock hoes, y'all rock fellas?" By the way, Nas pretty much destroyed Jay-Z lyrically with Ether.

I must admit, though, that I never saw this coming, a rap war ending with peace. But I never saw Kobe and Shaq shaking laughing with each other, much less looking at each other on the hardwood again unless they were trying to pulverize the other.

But they're even getting along, evidence by they're playful gestures throughout yesterday's all-star game.

This beckons a few questions: Are the beauty pageant contestants around the world getting what they long desired? Is that subliminal message just now starting to work?

No. We can't forget that GWB is still trying to find the weapons of mass distraction.

Anyway, I wish Hova and God's Son, get it?, well. I can't wait until I hear their first track together, I'm sure it will be deadly.

Click Here to Read More..

"I'm Your No. 1 Fan!"

This is before Wednesday's haircut ...
This is after ...

My cousin Mike, who is a well known comedian in the Midwest area, also cuts my hair. When I got to the shop, he knew I needed a cut because I hadn't seen him since just before New Year's. Now, I can wet and moisturize my hair and it will look cool even if it's too long (I have that "Indian" in my family as some blacks might say.) But if it's not moisturized, the soul will have no glow, and I will look crazy.

So when I pulled my hat off and "blew out" my hair out so he could cut it, he had this to say:
"Damon do you know who you look like? .... 'I'm your No. 1 fan!'"

If you don't get the line, just think about the Incredibles. If you haven't seen the Incredibles, your life is severely lacking.

Click Here to Read More..

The Smooth Man's Playlist ...

This is the truth, and yes Mos Def has a song called The Panties, and it's the shit. Click on the playlist and you'll be able to see it better.

Click Here to Read More..

Overheard in the 'Zou

This is funny as hell, but wrong:

A MU Basketball Player has a conversation about needing a ride with a fellow Mizzou athlete -

Basketball player: Man I really need a ride.

Fellow Mizzou Athlete: Why don't you call (fired) coach (Quin) Snyder? I'm sure he could give you a ride. He's not busy.

Basketball Player: (French Connection UK) you!

Just wrong. Just Wrong. R.I.D. Quin (That's Rest in Durham).

Click Here to Read More..

Just Another Day

There's one thing my flawed father figure actually taught me in life. Well, he taught me a lot about what not to do - because he did everything wrong.

But he also told me to treat every day as though its the same, no different from the next or previous. Your birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day and Father's Day, etc. I did say the man was flawed, so I thought/think this was his way of avoiding the expenditures that come along with those days. This is the same man who purposely went my entire 17th birthday ignorning while walking through the same house I lived in on purpose to hurt me. Still, I digress.

This day, Valentine's Day, will be just another day in my book. Nothing special & nothing ignorant (that I know of yet). The last three years, my Valentine's Day has been hell because of one person. But I must say, I've had some great female friends come through for me and treat me like a king on the day i felt down (Granny, Cara, Chlo Chlo, Cole and roomie). Really good people, and I love you all. Chlo Chlo came all the way from the STL two years ago with Cole to keep me company because they knew I'd be down. True friends.

This year, though, there is no celebration of any kind. No high marks. No down moments. No disappointments, because I'm not allowing for that. I'm just chilling.

I think I'm going to go out (the mall) and frantically watch the men of this world bust their asses to please their women, or the woman they want to be their's. The line outside of every flower shop in the city is going to stretch into the parking lot no matter what time of day it is.

The eateries on the Plaza will have hour-plus waits, and I will just watch and laugh at all of the ignornance. Hallmark will cash in tomorrow big time, and all of these people are getting everything all Campbell souped up to try to please somebody on one day when all they have to do is do that to a certain extent everyday. It's really just another day.

That's not the bitterness talking. I'm not bitter. Just spitting the truth. Tell me what's better than dropping a surprising gift on your significant other on March 22 to celeberate Women's History Month? That's a lot more spontaneous that the rudimentary Feb. 14, and a lot less expensive.

Here's the extent of my Valentine's Day giving for tomorrow. A poem I wrote for the person who has made Valentine's Day a living hell the last three years. I'm a really kind and loving person.

Pictures
Sorry, this time
There is no CD
Just a pen, a pad and my heart
Connecting from you to me
I mean, from I to you
So many times
Either of us has made mistakes
Causing us to think we’re threw
Somehow though
Love would pull through
In the midst
Of a misty morn
All that was scorn
Faded into the distant past
The stills lost their color all too fast
But the image forever last
Imprinted in your mind
Etched in my soul
Enveloped in my heart
Just patiently waiting for millions more words to unfold.

Click Here to Read More..

A Triple Threat - The "." Post

Guys, don't do this at home. In fact, don't do this anywhere if you can avoid it. I thought I was the mastermind of this game, but oh was I wrong. ...

I know. You're wondering what I'm talking about. If you have to know, I'm talking about this "." I won't say the word itself because I'm sensitive like Ralph Tresvant (not Eric Benet - still can't believe he cheated on Halle).

Yeah, I know. But imagine it in ellipsis format "..." Three of them, that close. That punctual. You still lost? I'm talking about a recent undesired experience with three women in my life, who all happened to hit that unwanted moment in their cycle at the same time.

Normally, I have no problem with a woman on her "." I'm a rare breed. My ears are usually open, and I listen to them complain and wine about this and that (stuff no other man should ever have to hear from anyone but his wife) because that loosens them up. It gets them to chuckle, not laugh though. You don't want them to laugh to hard because of the cramps. Just chuckles and smiles.

I digress. About two weeks ago (I put off writing/posting this to get myself into the clear - they all read this) i felt the wrath of b-chica, roomie and elle all within a matter of an hour or so.

First up was b-chica: Don't know what I did, we were just talking on the phone (I didn't say anything off the charts) and she told me she was irritated, and abruptly got off the phone. She didn't say that "I irritated her." But it was obvious and later made apparent by the fact that she apologized for her actions.

Nevertheless, roomie: left an ignorant message on my voicemail about the rent being due on the first of the month. Note: I said I put off posting this for two weeks so it was obviously before the first. Pointless, and it was obvious that it yet another attack of the "."

Finally, elle: the last assailant. Where I drew the straw. She snapped on me because I told her that I knew about something before she did (not that big of a deal, right?). WRONG! ... She got pissy, and abruptly got off the phone.

All three were on the "." All three were cranky as hell. I got two apologies, elle isn't that sincere, and somehow I still felt like I had robbed a bank and been caught. I think I've learned the trick though. At the end of this month, I'm turning my cell phone off and I'm not checking my messages (this is a j/k). That seems to be how we can get to the end of this ...

Click Here to Read More..

It's been a long time ...

I shouldn't have left you, without a new post to step to ... step to, step to, to step to ...

Yes, I'm back, and I could have come back to the blogging world with lyrics from the Mase remake "Welcome Back" rendition, but I decided to come correct via the Timbaland and Aaliyah track.

Yes, I have a song for everything.

You feel like you're in love: Brian McKnight - Never Felt This Way
Your girl just broke up with you: Brian McKnight - One Last Cry, After the Love has Gone, Shoulda, Woulda Coulda ...
You want people out of your business: Bobby Brown - My Perogative
You want to profess your love for your local neighborhood ho: T-Pain - I'm in Luv (Wit a Stripper)

Yes, I know what some of you are thinking, is this a real song? It is. Go to ITunes, pay your $.99 and hear it. It may or may not be worth it to you, but it's hilariously horrible.

The chorus is the title. Now can you actually imagine a man who wouldn't be embarassed to say that he was in love with a stripper? No (good, self-righteous) man in his right mind would tell any of his friends or post this message anywhere.

The only thing I think about when I hear the song is how Chris Rock said that "if your daughter's a stripper, you've fucked up" and then i think about what type of man goes after the daughter whose father "fucked up."

Not this one. Still, I digress to some other interesting news.

Hustle & Flow was a decent movie. I will not deny that. But there is no way Terrance D. Howard should be up for an Oscar for this movie. I repeat, no way. It's a great performance. But he was better in Crash. His role in Crash was gripping, better than Matt Dillon's.

I just wonder what kind of message the Academy is sending to America about Black people when it hands out Oscars to Denzel for being a crooked cop, Halle for being a whorish no-good mother and nominates Howard for being a pimp reformed by his ability to flow. And though it was a stellar performance, we can't discount Jamie's role of a coke-addicted, womanizing blind musician.

What happened to role's like Denzel's role in say John Q. One word: gripping. The movie came out the same year as Training Day, but to farless critical acclaim. Does the Academy and America prefer to see the black man as crooked, rather than see him trying to do right by his family and by his son?

Does America and the Academy prefer to see a pimp turn himself into a struggling rap artist more so than be unveiled to the racism played out in most every American community to this day?

Pure unadulterated ignorance.

More ignorance: Triple 6 Mafia, the Memphis group that brought you hits such as "Slob on My Knob" and "Ass & Titties" is nominated for an Oscar. No not a grammy. An Oscar for their rendition of "It's Hard Out There for A Pimp," from you guessed it, Hustle & Flow ...

I'll repeat that for you. Three 6 Mafia nominated for an Oscar. Before last month I had a better chance of taking home that statuesque gold figure more so than 36Mafia. Think about this, If they win for best soundtrack song, or whatever they're nominated for, they'll have voting rights.

Three Six Mafia with Voting Rights? I'm telling you if they win look out for State Property 3 for film of the year next February ...

I'm telling you. This is what they want from us.

Click Here to Read More..