The third session of random thoughts jumps off like this.
1. I've beenn wondering all week which is a worse incident to be involved in: ghost riding the whip or being in a club when Pacman or any other idiot "makes it rain." I've now seen two clips on youtube where people get severely injured ghost ridin' and then there's the infamous clip where the dude gets his carjacked while he's ghostin on the trunk. You decide.
2. If you were a superhero, which power would you rather have: the ability to teleport or the ability to fly? I chose flying because then you can carry along a visitor like Superman or Neo. It's also more scenic.
3. If you're a superhero not named Superman, you should not where a cape. Ask Buddy from the Incredibles.
4. Until someone proves him otherwise, Kobe is still the shit.
5. Okay, I boycotted idol for like two weeks because they kicked off my boo Sabrina Sloan. I turn on il televiso on Tuesday night only to find out that Sanjaya has actually grown a set of - be they small, but they still are - balls. This is what is wrong with America. We vote for people to make fun of them ala the Orchard himself, but then they end up biting us in tha ass ala the Orchard. People please, if you have any sense, stop voting for this little bastard!
6. I've spent the last two weeks of my life editing, and I seriously did not know that there are people who still skip two spaces after each period. I really thought that went out of style the first time Michael Jordan retired. I guess I was wrong.
7. I think it's quite humorous that Anna Nicole Smith had some sort of diet pill in her system that had absolutely nothing to do with Trimspa. Past that, I don't want to hear anything about her unless it's Maury Povich telling one of her child's potential custodian's "You ARE the father."
8. I've always thought that Kelly Rowland looked better than Beyonce, and right about now Kelly is killing Beyonce.
9. I went the batting cage on Tuesday and promptly fouled a ball off of my right foot. That shit hurt like hell.
10. Since I was off today, I went a hooped with my old co-workers. I promptly turned the ankle connected to the aforementioned foot. Welcome to my world. Have a good day. I'll write more tomorrow.
11. After watching these idiots ghost again, you'd have to be a complete idiot to ever do it. Seriously.
Friday, March 30, 2007
YRUN2DP's Random Thoughts, Vol. 3
Monday, March 26, 2007
The Groove is Gone
I only have about 50 problems with this whole ordeal. No really, I just want Terry McMillan to find a corner, sit in it and stay there until she realizes just how dumb this is.
Terry, you are the person who had the money in this relationship. The only way this dude could even fork up $40 million is if that’s what you had to give him in a divorce settlement, and I doubt that’s feasible.
So what are you doing? Creating unnecessary drama and making yourself look like more of a fool chasing after a gay man with no money.
This would have been better as a ridiculous spinoff Stella aptly title The Groove is Gone. In fact, it might have earned you the $40 million you’re looking for from Jonathan Plummer. But you’re clearly not getting two dimes from your ex who, must we remind you is a hairdresser.
This leads me to my next question: Why in divorce proceedings do the separating parties decide to rip each other limb from limb with the obvious intention of destroying what happens to be left of their once love's life?
This one is really bothering me right now. If I were to divorce (it would be because of something my wife did), I don’t know that I’d care to leave with much more than what I came into the relationship with and the dog. My car … ok, the house, the kids, a nice child support check drawn directly from her check (I really want my kids) and every dime in every bank account. Okay, nevermind. Forget I even asked that question.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Random Things Going On In My Mind, Vol. 2
I think this could be a recurring Friday afternoon thing as I try to wind down. Here are this week's random thoughts. Sometime, I'll come up with a better name for it than the aforementioned. Until then ...
1. Alright, Musiq's LuvanMusiq has actually grown on me. I didn't think it would, but it's been in rotation this week and survived.
2. Speaking of Musiq, the word "buddy" is permanantly ruined for all potential use for the forseeable future. It's the name of his current single and he's talking about an f-buddy. I have a co-worker who insist on calling me buddy, and I just feel a little weird every time she says it.
3. I'm tired of people talking about Anna Nicole Smith and Brittney Spears.
4. Kobe is the shit. Enough said.
5. I wonder which will come first, R. Kelly goes to go to trial for his sexual misconduct or he pumps out 15 more hits like "I'm a Flirt."
6. This sounds bad, but I looked in my closet this morning and didn't feel comfortable putting anything on. That means that it's time for a shopping spree. Look out, mall. I'm on my way.
7. French Connection UK the Company Bitch, who teased us with a re-appearance this week for a few days. I hope she stays in hiding.
8. Please click and watch this clip, it is maybe the second reason why no one should ever "Ghost Ride the Whip." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8vcjXI2XlA
The no. 1 reason would be that you could actually hurt yourself or screw up someone else's property.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
"I'm Bringing Neon Back" ...
is what my co-worker Hoodie affectionately proclaimed on Tuesday morning to a few of my colleagues and I as though her wearing of neon might do something revolutionary like end the War in Iraq.
Neon was never really in, and apparently no one ever told her this. Thus, the onslaught began.
The impresario of all things fashion, I promptly told Hoodie that neon was coming back only in the form in which it first came, the Post-It notes, which I slyly held up in my hand and faced toward her.
Pinkster, another co-worker - one who embarassed me in ping pong on Friday, dug into Hoodie's sudden infatuation with neon better than I imagined.
"So now we understand why you don't have any boyfriends."
I stood out of my chair and started walking with the "oh my God, did she just say that?" look on my face. I only took about five steps, turned around and took the same journey back to my seat.
In that time, no one spoke. We all just waited to see how Hoodie would respond to such a brutal attack. But she couldn't. The Pinkster attempted to lighten the mood.
"You know, I only throw around my sarcastic words with people I'm comfortable with, and you're cool," she said making it seem as if all was good and her earlier words were going to get swept into a dustpan and off into the oblivion of trash talking.
But Hoodie fought back.
"When I like people, you know what I do?" she said and then continued answering her own question without hesistation. "I throw up in their food."
Call it the knockouts of all knockouts. Yeah, game over.
She's maybe delusional when it comes to making a fashion statement mistake with neon, but please believe I'm not slinging any haymaker-laced words, sarcastic or not, in Hoodie's direction anytime soon. No, son. No.
Monday, March 19, 2007
As previously stated, I Think I Love My Wife turned out to be a worthwhile flick. Amusing with a decent story line that provides plenty of social fodder for people my age who are thinking about taking that leap of ... faith, matrimony or destitute, depending on how you look at it.
This is what I took away from the movie and the conversations that followed for myself and my future. There are several things that will need to happen in order for me to a) not desire to cheat b) not leave my future wife and c) not actually cheat.
They are:
1. I absolutely have to be with someone I laugh/have fun with consistently. If there are constant moments of awkwardness, silence and indecision there's no way.
2. A married woman who doesn't give up the booty is ... a woman who should be a nun, instead of hitched. it's that simple. You must fulfill all of your marital obligations or else your husband has the right to leave you.
3. Good conversation. Not just goofy fun talk. But an eclectic mix/weave of the intellectual and silly, whimsical and sarcastic, the light-hearted and serious.
4. Someone who understands love, and how to give it. So many people think that love is that "flights of fancy" bullshit, and its the furthest thing from it. More like, how much can you give without realizing/caring that you're giving? That's love, and what I want.
5. Someone who can accept faults. We all have shortcomings, and if you think that you're going to walk into a marriage and not live with my few downfalls in life, you're crazy.
6. Trust. Most important.
That's what I walked away from the movie realizing I need from a significant other. None of that "we're staying together for the kids" type shit. No, the woman needs to come through bring just as much to the table as the man does and vice versa...
... Or else, you might find yourself in a situation like Chris Rock was in beginning to live a fantasy with a new-found old friend. ...
Friday, March 16, 2007
Random Things Going on in My Mind
1. Someone has stayed on my case constantly, and convinced me to finish this book that I started writing two years ago. I just don't know when I'm going to find the time to do it.
2. I feel like my life is swamped working ft and freelancing.
3. I have two very, very good and different ideas for movie scripts. I have 15 pages written for one .... and the other, well, nothing yet. But it's a brilliant idea, and no I will not post it.
4. I'm listening to my favorite soundtrack, What Women Want, to get me through the day.
5. I ran into my ghost line brother yesterday, which was quite eerie considering that my line's anniversary was Sunday.
6. I hate Musiq Soulchild's new album, LuvanMusiq, and feel as though he hasn't made a good album since his second one. I also wish he'd learn how to spell.
7. My tournament brackets are doing okay at the moment.
8. I saw an advanced screening of Chris Rock's new movie I Think I Love My Wife last night. I'd give it a B-, but an A for comedy. the best line in the movie: "You'll lose a lot of money chasing after women, but you won't lose a woman chasing after money."
9. This has been the longest work day ever. It's probably because I've averaged 5.5 hours of not-so-good sleep a night this week. I believe it's mounted on my shoulders.
10. I need a drink. Make that two.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Vic Damone Bracketology and Waiting
I finished my final bracket today at work. I have three - ESPN, Facebook and Sportsline. The final one I just did for work, which has a pretty substantial pool going. There are about 100 entries.
But while picking my bracket, I discovered that you can watch the games online for the first three rounds. So I opened up the browser for it only to disvocer that there is a waiting list. Actually, two of them, one for VIPs and one for general admission.
It really has the feel of waiting outside of some bourgeois club in the general patron (not Patron) line. You know, the one where you're watching all of the VIPs laugh and giggle as they walk in and out of the club with relative ease. Meanwhile, you stand outside in the rain. But it's only raining on you and your friends like you were Charlie Brown and Peanut gang.
When I started about 45 minutes ago, I was somewhere around 50,000 in the GA line. Now, I'm stuck around 9,000. It's telling me that had I signed up for VIP, I would be No. 1 on the waiting list to get in.
But now there are about 70,000 people waiting in line for VIP. When I first started, it was about 10,000. I will be pissed if the majority of these people get in before me. Pissed I tell you.
Anyway, my Final Four predictions are: Kansas, Ohio State, Texas and Florida. All state schools. Kansas wins the final over Ohio State 82-75.
We'll see if this happens, and I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing in my brackets.
Seriously,
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Middle School Memories ...
So my new boss, eerily enough Kevin with an unusual k-last name, went to my rival high school. We probably could sit and talk for days about the great battles between our high schools, which were only a few miles apart.
But today at lunch, we talk about our middle school. See, we went to the same middle school five years apart. We had some of the same teachers, who had some of the same habits when he was in middle school (up until 1989) when I finished in 1994.
So we went down the list.
Mrs. Bock. check.
Mr. Peters. check.
Mr. Fenton. check.
Then we got to a teacher who I will refer to as Ms. East, only because her name was a direction and because what she did was embarassing.
"So do you remember, Ms. East?" Kevin asked me.
"Yeah," I said, keeping my comments about her brief because I didn't want to be the one to out the rumor. "I remember her."
There was a pause.
Then Kevin just said it.
"You know she used to stand at the chalkboard and just dig in her nose like crazy."
I walked away laughing hysterically. I really bugged up because he said exactly what I was thinking but didn't want to say. The lady really had a problem digging in her nose, and it apparently lasted at least five years.
We went on to talk about how Mr. Fenton had us memorize all of the presidents and the years that they were in office. And about how Mr. Peters was probably the strangest, yet coolest teacher in all of the school.
It was weird.
There's one other person who works with me who went to that same middle school. We haven't delved into any stories, but in due time we will. I'm sure of it.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Potential Reasons as to Why ...
The Company Bitch made her blog private.
As some of you know, my favorite blog to read is was thecompanybitch.blogspot.com. I promise you it's one of the most entertaining reads you'll find anywhere in blogosphere. She could have taken all of her posts, went to a publisher, threw them on the table and said "Here, give me my advance, I'm about to sell a shitload of books."
I'm still refusing to remove it from my list of links. I'm holding out hope that she'll come back to us. But in her memory, here are the top 10 reasons why she left our world.
1. She and Re-boyfriend broke again. The last time I read, he had left town. Maybe he didn't come back. Maybe he ran off with his mistress (the mistress thing is pure speculation).
2. She got a new job. Maybe Company Bitch got a new job, and is no longer the Company Bitch. Maybe she's a Company Boss, the likes that would make Kelis proud, now.
3. She was reprimanded for her writings. She was constantly paranoid about her employer finding out about her blog considering that she constantly talked about her superiors and co-workers.
4. Her life just got too boring. Maybe she's about to settle down with Re-boyfriend for real, and wanted to get her following around the www out of her world.
5. Her shrink told her that writing her problems out could no longer help her. She is crazy by all means, but she is a good writer.
6. She's pregnant. Just a guess.
I'm out of potential reasoning, and I've sufficiently wasted enough of my day thinking about this (approx. five minutes) and must return to my regularly scheduled day job. But know this, companybitch, you are missed.
Ed's Note: I've kicked a few dead blogs off of my lists. I've added a blog topics section to help with your ventures through my world. Thus, my book, known as my life is a little more cracked open for you.
Monday, March 12, 2007
An Itch I'm Gonna Scratch
It started out as a simple text message from my brother: "Do you have a baseball glove?"
He knows that I haven't seen my glove since I left for college. I think my step-brother claimed it as his own and hid it as he did so many things of mine while we shared a room.
I called him back. I hate texting especially when it comes to asking questions that require more than a yes or no.
"What do you need a glove for?" I asked.
"I don't need it, I just bought one and I wanted to play catch," he responded.
I hadn't thrown a baseball since last summer. But the timing of his response brought about an emotion in me I hadn't really felt since my senior year of high school, an itch (not that type of itch fools). The sun was out and shining bright, and it wasn't one of those deceiving type sunny days.
No, the temperature hovered around 62 degrees for a high, and I wanted to be outside with my brother tossing a baseball around. Seeing if my knuckle-curve and knuckler still worked. Reliving the good ole days.
He had an extra glove, so when I got off work I met him at his place. There we commenced to playing catch behind his apartment building.
A few people looked on sporadically. A few were cigarette smokers, a few were passer-by jogger types. I'm sure they all were wondering "Why are two grown-ass black men outside in suburbia playing catch with a baseball?"
You're probably wondering the same thing. But you see, it took us back to our youth for if only a half-hour. The beginning of March is madness for many, but for us growing up it was the beginning of baseball season.
I've wanted to spend a summer playing ball - in an adult baseball league, none of that softball stuff - again for quite sometime, and now I've got that itch again, and this time I'm gonna scratch it. My brother played last year, and I think that I'm joining him in the Midwest summer heat.
It's gonna be fun and carefree. Just like it used to be.
Ed's Note: Warning! I'm gonna keep that Alan Thicke's son's song on my page for a little while longer. At least a few more days.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
I Need Love
I just thought I'd hit you with my favorite song of the moment. Robin Thicke's I Need Love ... enjoy.
I Apologize Revisited
Why after I wrote the previous post about "not saying I'm sorry" did I say I was sorry three different times. Twice, I received a sarcastic reply. Again, this is my life.
Click Here to Read More..Friday, March 09, 2007
I Apologize
Today I will explain to you why you should never tell someone that you are sorry for something that you did. This way, you can say that you learned something from reading my post.
You do something bad to someone. You have a remorseful soul so you decide to tell him or her:
"What I did to you was totally wrong and out of character. I'm sorry."
He or she is full of sarcasm, and instead of an apology they decide to humor anyone who can hear.
"I agree with you, you are sorry."
How do you avoid this situation where someone can make you feel worse than you already did? You always say, "I apologize."
I know it, it sounds a little to formal and contrite. It's also the name of a great Anita Baker tune, but that's neither here nor there. Just don't sing it as a part of your apology.
It seems insignificant. But, at least, you don't have to worry about someone ripping you a new one. This has happened to me many times, and I am just now catching on.
Ed's note: I don't do bad things that often. But it is apparent that I have many sarcastic friends who say things like this all of the time.
My luck is worse than a penny with a hole in it. I'm serious. If I pick tails, the coin that flips in the air will most assuredly have heads on both sides. That is my luck. Even though I don't believe in luck. I guess that would make it my fate.
Click Here to Read More..Wednesday, March 07, 2007
A U-Turn for My Sanity
Last week, I couldn't find my keys. Yesterday, I realized that I had misplaced my contacts. And today?
Well I got to the intersection of I-35 and 95th Street prepared to turn left on to the highway and take my five minute trek down the I-35, just me and my sportstalkradio like I do every morning. It was there that I realize I left my cell phone sitting on my bed.
This is what is happening to me since I started waking up frazzled at 6 a.m. everyday to go to work a few weels ago.
Now anyone who knows me, knows that without my cell phone I might as well be naked. I won't be surprised if at age 55 they find some insurmountable cancer inside my left thigh (where my phone normally resides) or on the left side of my face (where the phone rests when I'm on it).
That said, I had to make U-turn, or waste 10 minutes on the highways backtracking to my house, and risk being late for work. U-Turns, in my Kansas county, are legal. But when there is a police car facing you, they just don't seem all to legal.
I faced a decision: just go on to work without my phone or be bold and bust the legal u with the cop right on my tail.
You know me. I'm daring. And since I wasn't breaking a law, I chose the latter option.
With that choice, I was unceremoniously DWB-profiled. No, he didn't pull me over, but the cop got on my ass and followed me until I had to make another legal u-turn to make my way onto my street. I didn't want to make it, but I didn't have much of a choice.
I felt sick because I just knew that cop was going to pull me over and try to find some scratch on my record from 15 years ago. Please note that 15 years ago I was 11, and hadn't been behind the wheel yet.
I digress, this waking up at 6 a.m. daily stuff, it's gonna take a minute to get used to again.
Ed's Note: This has little to do with nothing, but I thought I'd mention that my favorite Brian McKnight cd is entitled U-Turn. I couldn't fit it into the story anywhere, so I stuck it at the end.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Learning to Swim
One of my friends wrote a column I found to be powerful and inspirational. It's worth the read. Here's the link:
Swimming Lessons ...
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Corny KC Commericals ...
If there are any of you Kansas City people out here who can appreciate this I hope you do. Do you remember these three local commercials:
1. The "I Have A Brilliant Personality" trying to get a job commercial?
2. "Shawnee Mission Kia, just a short drive, Shawnee Mission Parkway and I-35?"
3. "Rubins Case Cabiano(sp) and Bryant" ...
If you do, can you think of anymore cheesy Kansas City related commercial that are stuck in your brain because you just happened to have the television on but weren't really paying attention because you'd seen it 500 times before because you were doing the same exact thing. I'm trying to lengthen this list, so if you can think of any, leave a message.
