2005, Revisited ...

I saw this somewhere, and thought I'd give it a run through. Here's 2005, a look back.

MY BEST AND WORST OF 2005:
1) Was 2005 a good year for you?No, son.
2) What was your favorite moment of the year? still thinking about this one.
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
4) Where were you when 2005 began? In Miami visiting Quiana.
5) Who were you with? Quiana and her Miami people.
6) Where will you be when 2005 ends? Still deciding.
7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends? Dunno yet.
8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? Hell no.
9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? Not just yet. I'll come up with one, though.
10) Did you fall in love in 2005? No.
11) If yes, with who? N/A
12) If yes, do they know? N/A
13) Are you still in love with them? N/A
14) You regret it? ???????
15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005? Not really.
16) Did you make any new friends in 2005? Yup. Lost some.
17) Who are your favorite new friends?Belizeanchica.
18) What was your favorite month of 2005? July, because I got a nice break from work.
19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005? No way, Jose.
20) How many different states have you traveled in 2005? Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Florida, Kansas.
21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? Not literally.
22) Did you miss anybody in the past year? Yup.
23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? Probably Crash.
24) What was your favorite song from 2005? John Legend - Refuge.
25) What was your favorite album from 2005? John Legend - Get Lifted
26) How many concerts did you see in 2005? 4.
27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005? John Legend in St. Louis.
28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? Not really.
29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005? No way, Jose.
31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? Yup.
33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? I don't really have reason to lie at this point in life.
34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? Yup!
35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? Yup, you know who you are!
36) How much money did you spend in 2005? Too Much.
37) What was your proudest moment of 2005? Come on now. Me ... proud of something?
38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? Don't think I was really all that embarassed.
39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 what would it be? The first week of the year, in Miami with a some good people.
40) What are your plans for 2006? Keep growing within myself, and make it the best year that it can be ...

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The Beginning of an end of an endless end ...

"If you can't have the one you love, where are you going with your life?" ~Musiq Soulchild

These are words from a true wordsmith. I'm just rethinking the words I spewed out like venom a few days ago - A Season's Ending. I really just wonder if I might, in the back of my mind always want for something that's not good - and really has never been that good for me.

When I talked with my mom after The Incident she said she had recently got a phone call from an old college boyfriend who apparently had that "What If" clause blunted into his thoughts despite the reality of his wife, er ex, and kids. That's just a scary thought all around.

If I can't have what it is that I want, I want my life to move past the idea of something and into the realm of what is true and tangible. I think back to my dealings with LPzee and Knez, and how I thought I'd never get over those two females. Eventually I did, but if I'm not mistaken it was because of some of the female who entered the picture and caught my eye/ear.

.... Neways, I got an innocent instant message on Monday from Triple B wishing me a happy belated Merry Christmas. Needless to say, I was a little shocked. I woke up on Christmas morning admittedly hoping she'd call. Soon enough, though, with all of the text messages and phone calls that came, I realized that I was really alright.

Still when i saw the message, I have to admit that it meant a lot to me. Yes, I responded and had a little dialogue, but nothing major.

Yes, it hit a motherf-in soft spot on my insides, and I realized that I don't really want the type of situation with her where we only call each other on holidays and birthdays because that does nothing much but stir up bad memories. Yes, there are good moments, just like the aforementioned. But what good are they when they're just mixed up with thoughts of all of the messed up things that have happened?

Really, I wish that shit could just be right between us. I'm simple. I want things to be right. But I'm not the one whose maturity hasn't caught up with their actual age when it comes to relationships and how you treat people.

All of this beckons me to wonder if this is just the beginning (really the midddle) of an end of an endless end or if this situation will actually ever fully go away? I really dunno. I guess I'm just confused and I really don't feel like thinking or writing about this anymore on this morn. So, I'll holler ... oh yeah, shouts out to JESUS on the Belated Birthday. Yes, I'm a fool.

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My Most Favorite Movies of 2005

Note that I didn't say the best movies. I don't like all types of movies. I have an undiganosed version of ADD meaning it's takes a lot to hold my attention for two hours.

But here are the movies that actually captivated me this year. There are a few that I still need to see like Derailed and Rumor Has It. But this is my top 5 thus far.

1. Crash: A gripping tale of lives intersecting. The weird thing about this is Ludacris actually gave a great performance in this film along with Sandra Bullock, Thandie Newton and Matt Dillon.
2. In Good Company: an atypical plot in your everyday setting. The relationship between Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid’s characters is so unusual that it’s quite intriguing. The thing I like most though, this doesn’t have a your everyday happy ending all around.
3. Batman Begins: I thought this movie would be flawed because they went backwards. But this is easily my most favorite of the Batman movies because it is truly dark and not goofy.
4. Just Like Heaven: I’m backwards because I like improbable romantic comedies. But I think this one got to me because of the serendipitous feel to the whole thing. It’s unlikely, but a lot of us need angels like the one in this movie to wake us up.
5. Hustle & Flow: To me, the story isn’t about the hood or ‘the life of a pimp,’ but rather a tale of a flawed man trying to realize a fairly impossible dream. And for the record, Ludacris sucks in this movie.

Quote of the day: "My only job in life is to keep her off the pole! Keep my baby off the pole. I mean, they don't grade fathers, but if your daughter's a stripper, you've fucked up." ~ Chris Rock talking about parenting a female child in Never Scared.

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Brangelina Holiday Wish ...

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A Season's Ending ...

So the Chefs (yes, I left out the i on purpose) season is over by all hopeful senses (*head bowed*). But I don't write or talk too much about them after they lose. So that's not what this is about.

I've been contemplating this notion of why some people come into my life, and whether or not they're worthy of even having around at all or if his/her season has passed. I've done a lot of hedge-trimming in my vineyard this particular season - i.e. I've displaced plenty of people who didn't pull much weight in the idea of a friendship. Shit. In a few instances, I've been the displacee, which isn't a bad thing.

But I'm trying to figure out how you know when someone is in your life for just a season or a lifetime, and when you know a season has passed. Why is this such a hard thing for me? Well, I grew up with a quasi-military brat mentality. I stayed in the same school district throughout my education, but I never went to school with the same kids when it came time to go from grade (some idiots would call this grammar) school to middle school to high school. Thus, I've never been too too great with keeping up with people, and never found it to be that important until now with a select few friends from college that warm my heart and or make me laugh most anytime I holler at them.

If I'd quit fronting, it'd be obvious that this filters itself down to one person - Triple B, herself. She is someone I've known for a long time to not be a good person. But at the same time, I've learned so many positive and negative things about myself throughout the entire "situation." I've really learned the true essence of love and hate. I've discovered passion and rage. Happiness and frustration, sometimes at the same time.

But in many ways, I think I've learned all that I could learn from someone whose two favorite words in the dictionary appear to be beautiful and gorgeous - obviously leading you to what are truly hollow/shallow insides. And I also think I've experienced enough hurt from one person to last me a lifetime, and it may be time to experience something brand new and invigorating. I think it's time I completely close this chapter of my life (even in my head).

There was a signifcant period of time where I thought we would see the "rocking chair days" because of the fluidity of our conversation, interaction, our likes and dislikes and similar ambition or lack thereof at times. But I've totally outgrown the idea of being an option, whether first or second, while someone else experiments.

I always thought that I could help/compliment her and she could help/compliment me in multitude of ways. But at this point, she does little good for me and I pretty much refuse to do so for her. Heck, she's actually grown worse with age, which is a scary thought because she wasn't all the way there when I met her.

It's just a tough ordeal all around because you wish somebody would be smart enough not to let a potential lifetime situation end when they actually had a choice. But, hey, some people are really just stupid, and would rather sit around a play the shoulda, woulda, couldas.

Besides, she's given me plenty of reason not to answer the phone when she calls, and I'm finally in the mindset (The "she really isn't about shit, and she knows it" mindset) to where I don't want to answer it, and I'm okay with this chapter of my life ending.

It had potential for so much more than a season, but I really don't think this is the type of person I want rocking next to me when I hit my retirement years. I'm not happy with the way things have ended, but I think I'm finally content.

It's just funny that this is all happening as it appears as though Gaylord Fokker, if you don't know don't ask, could be out of the picture. But that's another story for a day that won't come.

Anyway, I question whether or not this is the right decision for some reason. But I think that in due time, I'll be more grateful and happier if I don't pick up the phone. ...

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Diamonds Aren't Forever, sometimes ...

When you think of someone throwing their "Diamonds up" nowadays, I'm sure the last person you think of is Diamond Dallas Page.

Some of you right now are like "Who the hell is that?" Page is the pro-wrestler who is suing Jay-Z over the use of what Page calls the Diamond Cutter better known in the civil world (not including wrestling enthusiats) as the "Dynasty" symbol of Rocafella Records.

I think this is a trivial issue. Think about it. This is a washed-up "pro" wrestler suing a man over the way he uses his hands as a signal of sorts. They are similar signs, but they're not the same thing. Page takes his hands in the form of a diamond (while spreading his fingers) and throws them at his crotch while screaming "bang!" Jigga keeps his fingers together while throwin up a similar diamond.

It's a stupid claim because before Diamond Dallas Page "blew up" the same sign had plenty of clout per an african-american sorority known as Delta Sigma Theta.

If you're not familiar with it, here's a familiar lyric pointing to the obvious:

"She was with me before the deal, she been trying to be mine. She's a Delta so she been throwing that Dynasty sign." ~ your favorite college dropout.

But do you see the Deltas in an uproar for somebody using a sign similar to theirs? No, because it's not that big of a deal. It's not something that is that confusing. Plus, if you're of age to buy a Jay-Z or Kanye West CD (Always with the Parental Advisory) you probably shouldn't be paying attention to pro-wrestling. If you are, you're a hack.

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Dashing Through the Snow ...

I think most people know that Kanye West is fairly fashionable. But click on this link where rants about why he should win album of the year, and tell me if you don't think he should also win worst outfit of the year as well.

I didn't know rappers also sing Christmas Carols. Watch the video, and you'll understand ....

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2684817?htv=12&htv=12

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The Indecent Proposal ...

(NOTE: I have never paid anyone to write anything for me that I was supposed to write ... lol)
Amid a bit of frustration and sleepiness in the midday, I asked a friend jokingly if she'd like to write a story for me. A 450-word masterpiece of minimalism for 20 GWs. I knew she wouldn't go for that, but I had to low-ball her at first. She told me I was crazy.

I then pushed the price up to a benjamin. She jumped at the idea of that. Since Ihave standards and morals, it was just small talk and there was no transaction. But the convo churned itself right into an interesting subject: Who would you not go to bed with if offered the $1 million price.

She proceeded to name a few famous people who she'd turn down no matter what, and I just thought to myself "ONE MILLION DOLLARS" - An obvious Dr. Evil moment - "How could you possibly turn that down even if it were Roseanne Barr herself?" I don't know.

If faced with the situation, I might have to consider setting aside my morals - at least for a few minutes - in an effort to accomplish the greater good.

I'm sure when you read this you immediately think of the Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson and Robert Redford classic. A great film with a great cast and an unbelievable plot, which brings me to my next point.

I think I could do it (notice that I said think). I'm good at putting things out of my mind that I don't want to trouble me after three days or so.

But I don't know that I would want my wife/significant other in that situation. At first thought, it seems enticing but it's something that can really stick with you - just the idea of someone you're intimate with sharing that with someone else. I guess in that right, I'm selfish. But who isn't?

My question for you: Is a million dollars worth a night like Demi Moore had in the movie? Leave a comment with your response ...

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The NBA Mistress Search ...

Alright. It's 3:41 AM (that's when I started this, but i fell asleep, now its 11 am). I should be sleep (I got this). Not too long ago I got off the phone for the first time with a surprisingly good conversationalist that actually kept my attention for a while and I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. There are few that make that happen needless to say it was a good night - big ups to the person with only one white friend ... your funny as hell, son (really should be daughter because this is a woman).

Anywho (this word was stolen, but not from who you think). I know you're wondering about this title. No I'm not on a search for NBA groupies, but apparently about a 1/5 of my readers are. Let me explain. I added this StatCounter to my blog to get an idea of who's reading - and who's not (wink, wink). It will give you the IP address and city of where someone is reading from, and show you how often that IP pops up.

It would suffice to say I have a decent following, though some people like wildcatsquared don't know how to leave comments (get with the program is 2K5 dub-2). I get anywhere from 40-50 hits a day - mostly good friends trying to see what stupid ish I have to say that day.

But there's also a contingency of people I don't know who stubble upon my page. People from overseas. Canada. Australia, which I don't have a problem with.

Then there are those people - about five a day - who find my page through a search, and the No. 1 search is? You guessed it ... people searching for "NBA Mistress" in MSN or Google - try MSN.com first. I'm in the top ten every time on MSN when you search for the "NBA Mistress."


Why am i on the search? There's the post I wrote about the NBA and its new dress code a few months back. Then there's the link to the Soul Mistress, a fellow blogger, that completes the requiste search. Pretty ignorant.

Here's my message for those people looking for NBA Mistresses: "Do what you do ... if you want that instant AIDS, cause that's what you'll get."

I'm coming back later with a post about indecent proposals. I'll holla.

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Life & Death on the Row and Iraq ...

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". ~ Ghandi

Death is as certain as the sun rises and sets (The sign to the right is fitting). It's assured from the moment you breathe in air for the first time. Whether another man takes your life, you take your own or The Higher Power says it's your time to go, we're all really on death row. All of those reasons have some merit. Of course, another man taking your life is only justifiable in self-defense.

That said, I'm not so sure that a state or a man should have the right to enforce capital punishment. That's playing God. Let me rethink that. Maybe they should at least consider where the inmate is in his/her walk of life before they decided to kill them.

I haven't devoted too much attention to death row in recent or distant past. I just know that we (The US) just gave the maximum penalty to a 1,000th person in the last few weeks and that Stanley 'Tookie' Williams, founder of the Crips gang turned children's author, probably won't be with us too long past midnight. He's been sitting on death row since 1981 for killing four people in 1979.

I don't know the man, and no, I don't identify with him just because he's black. However, I'm not so sure that he deserves to be killed for slaying four others 26 years ago, which he denies he did. I think I could understand it if he were going to be a threat to society again. But Tookie - I don't know where this name came from and don't want to know - renounced his way of life, and he writes (exuse me, wrote) books to keep kids like him away from the "thug life." Even locked up, he probably does more justice alive than dead.

I can understand Timothy McVeigh's lethal injection because given the opportunity he would have gone Oklahoma City on another Midwest federal building, maybe in Kansas City. Osama bin Laden: I wouldn't be opposed to him being knocked off, and I don't think the majority of this world would disagree because he'll cause havoc at any given chance.

This man has done something positive with his life since he was found guilty of murder. But I can't discern what a proper punishment should be - maybe life in prison. A judge, jury and Arnold the gubenator have all decided death is just:

"Stanley Williams insists he is innocent, and that he will not and should not apologize or otherwise atone for the murders of the four victims in this case," the governor wrote.
"Without an apology and atonement for these senseless and brutal killings, there can be no redemption."

How do you atone for murder? With more execution? If Williams dies tonight, I think it makes it more evident that most of us are quite blind, as Ghandi said, to what we are truly here on Earth to do - especially the leader of our fearless country, the C-average college student.

Do you realize that 30,000 Iraqis, a conservative number at best, have died since 2002 per the dealings of one George Walker Bush? Plus over 2,000 American soldiers. I saw this on cnn.com today, and was just astonished. That's some Vietnam War-type numbers.

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for." ~Ghandi

Not to bash GWB, though I am, but now I can understand why the rest of the world hates America. He pre-empted the deaths of Americans by giving the OK to kill 30,000+ Iraqis. Today, Bush dared to compare the liberation of Iraq to the birth of the United States. Seriously. This is why the rest of the world looks at him in the light we look at Saddam and Osama - because the man is chiefly responsible for all of this death.

Yet, Arnold the gubenator, nor anyone else is going to look this man in the eye and say he deserves death for his actions. Well, at least no one in the United States. It would be nice if George had a moment of divine intervention tonight and decided it was OK for Tookie to live. It's in the Supreme Court's hands now. But even a word in the man's favor is the least the President could do with all the death he has caused in the last three years. Not going to happen, though.

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... And So We Commence (or maybe not)

Susie B. Johanasen, Political Science. (crickets) Michael Patrick Sullivan, English, Spanish and Portuguese. (crickets) Larry Johnson (Touchdown, Kansas City! Yeah Buddy). Ryan Matthew William Smith (Yeah Buddy ....!!!!!!!!!).

So yeah, my brother graduated yesterday. A grand experience. I was well equipped for the occassion knowing that I didn't want to be stuck in a theater hearing names I knew not, I brought along a mini-TV and watched football during much of the ceremony. With the four-inch screen, I had a quite a following.

Of course I put it down when RMWS walked across the stage. I'm not that bad.

Also, I did listen to the emcee long enough to hear her give the best line I've heard in quite some time: "Sure you're commencing today, but you could uncommence if you don't pass your finals this week."

This backward-ass school - yes, Hank and the like, I said it - actually graduated a class before they took their f-ing finals. Only the Gayhawks as I've affectionately called them since 1998. Only the Gayhawks wouldn't think of the parents who travel from out of state and may have to come back to get their graduate next weekend. Pompous assholes. Sorry.

Anyway. Congratulations Ryan. You did it even though you had one, really two, major haters - you know what I'm talking about - on your back. You're a man, and I love you.

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Christmas Around the Corner ...

A few good laughs with Santa on his way ...

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Feeling Alive ...

Do you know what it means to truly be alive? No. Not that corrupt falsity related to breathing or a heartbeat. But life being those moments when you skip one or three breaths from the being unveiled to the fact that you mean the world to someone. Someone you perhaps thought could careless if you lived. You know, those special moments where you get five minutes away your cube monkey-like existence to actually give of yourself and be grateful for the opportunity.

Your smile gleams. You laugh like an oozy, and can’t help it because you have, for that moment, the one thing that actually makes you feel alive.

Nothing else matters. Not your nagging boss. Not your annoying co-workers. Not even the things that you continually put off that you know you need to do. Nothing. Unfortunately, it's back to your feeble existence. Wake, Work, Eat, Sleep, Shit, Repeat. Those are the moments that I live and die for everyday. They are few and far between, but when they come they are magnanimous. There are few people who can give this feeling ever in life. If you know what I’m talking about, appreciate those people for what they’re worth and you might just have a heaven-like experience here on this earth. ...

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A Legend of This Day ...

"A fish stick nigga. Now we messin with Grammys, We messin with Oscars" ~ Kanye in Jamie Foxx's Extravaganza

This day can't pass without me giving mad props to John Stephens bka John Legend. If you didn't know, John is up for eight Grammys, as he well should be.

I'm telling you now - Get Lifted was the best album I heard all year, and Legend has the most upside of any new artist out (see his new DVD with the second album's first song Again). Yes, better than Late Registration or The Emancipation of Mimi - both great albums in their own respect, and they're up for Album of the Year, rightfully.

If you get the chance to hear the man live like I did (Sept 2004, Nov. 2004, July 2005, Aug. 2005) do it. You won't hear a better voice live. If you don't have the album, buy it tomorrow. I'm saying all of this because I guarantee you a lot of people didn't even know dude's name until this morning when he was headlined with Mariah Carey and Kanye West as receiving the most Grammy nominations.

Example: I went to www.johnlegend.com just after I saw the story on Yahoo! and it took damn near two minutes just to load. It was a trip. Needless to say, if he doesn't take home four Grammys in February - including best R&B album and best new artist - I wouldn't be mad if he went "Kanye at the AMAs" on that ass.

What he's up for:
* Song Of The Year - Ordinary People (This should win)
* Best New Artist (A win)
* Best Male R&B Vocal Performance - Ordinary People
* Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals - So High ft. Lauryn Hill
* Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance - Stay With You
* Best R&B Song - Ordinary People (A Win)
* Best R&B Album - Get Lifted (A Win)
* Best Rap/Sung Collaboration - They Say w/ Common & Kanye West (A Win)

The only thing that tripped me out about the nominations were the slew of nominees given to the Tribute to Luther Vandross compliation - Forever, For Always, For Luther. The album was an unbelievable success and idea. But the best track on the album - Legend's interpretation of "Love Won't Let Me Wait, which they should have let Jamie Foxx do (You understand me) - didn't even get a nod.

I understand the idea of givign a tribute to Luther, and I don't have a problem with it. But five nominations - Creepin, Jamie Foxx.; Superstar, Usher; So Amazing, Beyonce & Stevie Wonder; If This World Were Mine, Alicia Keys & Jermaine Paul; and A House Is Not A Home, Aretha Franklin - is a lot.

It really just makes you understand how bad we (black people) are hurtin for some really GOOD Music of today. We have songs with nukkas comparing women to f-ing Laffy Taffy and Chicosticks and Bubble Gum. Go figure. So I ain't that upset.

Peep game, though. Common slid through with four nominations as well. So the GOOD Music crew came through with 20 nominations in all. Not bad. You need to get hip to the game if you're not. Getting Out Our Dreams, them boys are not eating fishstcks or Chicosticks anymore. www.kanyewest.com www.johnlegend.com www.com-mon.com

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I be putting negroes to sleep, son ...

"I spell like a butterfly, and sting like a bee." ...
OK, that didn't quite work like "The Champ is Here" Ali quote. But we pulled the Scrabble board back out for round two, and needless to say "I kicked ass and took names." What else would you expect?

"Really? I'm a freaking journalist," I better be able to spell a plethora of words by now. Granny would be proud because I made him quit. I was spelling words for him - like, joe - a brewed coffee (I don't even drink coffee). Anyway, the score was 233-163. The big word? Writer on a triple word score - aka the Death Nell for all you KU folks. What irony. ...

Sorry for the ebonics, but you don't wanna mess with me 'cause I be putting negroes to sleep, son.... lol ... All challenges are welcome. I won't back down.

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Braving the Blizzard-like conditions

So Chell, Demond and I decided to get winterized yesterday at the wrong time - midnight. Demond and I wanted shovels to do something with the f-ing foot of snow outside our townhouse. We wanted to go all out - gloves, skullies, de-icer and the like. So we got in the Focus and drove to an all-night WallyWorld while it was still snowing lightly.

Big mistake! Waiting for us at the entrance to Wal-Mart was a "mountain that was high enough" that we couldn't get the Focus up the hill. This is midnight folks, and the sad part about this incident is that we were the only car not able to make it up the hill. Cars, truck and mini-coopers were passing us with no problem. The drivers looked at us like we were crazy.

So D and I decided to do something about it. We got out and pushed the car, with Chell driving of course, up the hill, and into the parking lot.

Finally, we were inside and able to warm up. One big problem, though. Wal-Mart didn't have one f-ing regular shovel, the whole f-ing reason we braved the f-ing storm (yes, I used French Connection UK three times in one f-ing sentence ... lol).

We ended up with some makeshift emergency, childish golf-putter-sized shovels and everything else we went there to get. I actually bought my first package of tube socks in prolly eight years. But hey, we made it back and shoveled the walkway and from around our cars before the morning came. The shit got done, son.

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Bobby, Benet and Marc?

So, I've been stuck in the house all day . Thus, I've done a lot of blogging a lot (two other posts). But these few thoughts have been bugging me since I had conversation with Chloee about New Jack Swing.

1) Bobby Brown has really lost his mind. He had some group on some random VH1 award show, and actually called himself the "King of R&B" on national TV. Did this idiot - Bobby - not see what Jamie Foxx said about him four years ago or did he just forget.

Let me remind you ... "She (Whitney Houston) said Bobby Brown was the King of R&B! Shit! Ribs & BBQ. Rocks & Blunts. He's the king of R&R. He ain't had an album out since '83. You ain't that high Whitney, you ain't that high. ~ from I Might Need Security.

Bobby, just because you had a reality show that was a semi-success - because of how ignorant your ass is - doesn't me you can claim the thrown of King of R&B. N----, you still got mountains to climb to get to R. Kelly's status, although he should be in jail too.

2) Eric Benet: He goes right along with Bobby. Eric dropped two unbelieveable albums in the late 90s - True to Myself and A Day In the Life. But he lost all credibility when he started cheating on Halle Berry. How dumb can you be, by the way?

His new CD, Hurricane, actually has a few decent tracks. But how can anyone really take his love songs seriously after he cheated on the most beautiful woman in Hollywood? You can't. Dumb ass.

3) Marc Nelson: i know you're like: who? Marc Nelson is the fifth member of Boyz II Men that you don't know about like the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle woulda been Giovanni. Maybe that's a stretch. But Nelson blew it. He was an original member Bell Biv Devoe founded group. But he left because of "personal" difference, and missed out on album sales of 9 mil (Cooleyhighharmony) and 12 mil (II) with Boyz II Men. Instead, he joined Az Yet (only notable for the hit Last Night) and dropped his own single 15 Minutes. Looking back, I bet he wished he could be playing the role of Mike McCray since B2M only has three members now.

4) Sorry. I had to hit on this. Have you noticed how me damn artists (Including John Legend, Alicia Keys and a shitload of rappers) talk about Bobby and Whitney's love in their lyrics. I guess that shit Chris Rock was talking about is true: "If your wife is crazy, you gotta be crazy too. ... Two Crackheads, they'll last FOREVER!"

Aight. Really. I think I've exhausted my pen for the day. If this damn snow doesn't stop, it will be like this tomorrow. ...

Oh ... a few songs that missed the list:
Intro – Let me be
Solo – Heaven
Soul For Real – Candy Rain
PM Dawn – I’d Die Without You
Troop – Spread My Wings
Shai – Together Forever

OK, for real: "They claim you never know what you got til it's gone. I know I got it, I don't know what y'all on. I'ma open up a store for aspiring MCs. Won't sell'em no dreams but the inspiration is free. But if they ever flip sides like Anakin, you'll sell everything including the mannequin. They got a new bitch, now you Jennifer Aniston. Hold on, do I'll handle it. Don't start panicking, stay strong. Shorties at the door cause they need more, inspiration for their life, their souls and they songs. They said "Sorry Mr. Damone is Gone!"

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They call me Wordsmith for a reason...

So what do you do when its like subzero Celsius (and fells like subzero Fahrenheit) outside, and there is about six inches of snow on the ground?

You keep your ass in the house, and bring out the board games.

"The Champ is Here." drums. "The Champ is here." ~ VickDamone, Jr.

Tonight was all about Scrabble, and you know I had to defend my championship. I was happy to be playing it again. The last time I played it I had tons of fun winning in a major way. Now, I haven't been beaten the last four times I've played in my house (I'm like the Chiefs at home in December, I don't lose).

I scathed by Demond for a 228-223 win. I got stuck with the X, J, Z and Q at different points. But I still came through with words like quoted, java, ox, maize and hue. I'm glad I knocked him off after our last encounter on a board game, Monopoly, in which my attempt to take over Roomie's and Me's property was thwarted by the aforementioned people who schemed with Demond to beat me. Bullshit, to this day.

But I got my revenge. How sweet it, vengance, is when it's not about trying to screw up somebody's life. Dr. Evil: Muhahaha. Muhahaha. Muhahaha. Muahahaha.

A song that comes to mind: James Brown, The Payback. I'm fool, I know.

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Q-Boogie Takes It Home ... Literally

Quiana (far left, cutie in the black) won a regional Emmy for a special she did on Black History Month for the Miami NBC Affiliate Station. Congrats! Can I come be your house husband? Just kidding I know you'd kill me by day three. I'm glad you "did you" as I would do me. Needless to say, she had a busy day following the story about the guy who was killed at Miami International by federal agents.

PS - I don't know the rest of the people in the photo, but big ups to my best friend from college.

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If Only New Jack Were a Major ...

Okay, this is probably going to be annoying for some. But this is my favorite past time. Listening to music, and talking about it. Battling with someone who knows more songs or who can set the other person off with a track they didn't think they'd hear is one of my most favorite things to do. Here's a recent convo mainly about the New Jack Swing Era of R&B. Note, this is really a listing of songs, which most of them I know all too well.

If you can't stand this, you (women) probably wouldn't be able to last a week with me. This is what I do. Me, I know you'll enjoy this one. Oh, the 'queen" I'm going back with is Chloee, one of my best friends in the world and a fellow New Jack fanatic.

dmansmi: I'm getting tired of your shit, you don't never by me nothing
dmansmi: see every time you come around you got to bring Jim James Paul and Tyrone
cdl38d: now why can't we be by ourselves sometimes
dmansmi: See why can't we by ourselves sometimes, see I been having this on my mind for a long time
cdl38d: see i been havin' this on my mind, for a long time
dmansmi: I just want it tobe you and me like it used to be but you don't know how to act, so matta fact
dmansmi: ....
cdl38d: weirdo
dmansmi: HELP YOU GET YOUR SHIT
cdl38d: lol
dmansmi: I'm listening to it on yahoo radio, weirdo
dmansmi: lol
cdl38d: i listen to yahoo radio too
cdl38d: and immature is playing
dmansmi: wowdmansmi: Never Lie?
cdl38d: nodmansmi: which song
cdl38d: 'i can't stop the rain'
dmansmi: oh
cdl38d: some random song off their 'we got it'
cdl38d: cd
dmansmi: i remember it
dmansmi: vaguely
cdl38d: it sounds dumb
dmansmi: they were 11
dmansmi: lol, it's going to sound dumb
cdl38d: i can't believe marques houston is singing about mailto:f&@ckin all the time now
dmansmi: all the time, right
cdl38d: every song is like totally sexed over
cdl38d: 'tell me when will i see you smile again' - New Edition...it's playing right now
cdl38d: that was the jam
dmansmi: i know ... he's not tight at all ...
dmansmi: that's my shit
cdl38d: that's like their tightest song of all time
dmansmi: no ... Can you stand the rain
cdl38d: nocdl38d: that's the second best
dmansmi: I'm the King of the New Jack Swing Era ... I know
cdl38d: if you are the king i'm the queen
cdl38d: 'girl i see your eyes'
dmansmi: I'm not married to you, ugh ... lol
cdl38d: i apologize
cdl38d: tell me what to do
cdl38d: to get through to you
cdl38d: girl it's not the same
cdl38d: i know i was to blame
cdl38d: just tell me when will i
cdl38d: see you smile again
dmansmi: Sade - Smooth Operator
cdl38d: yes sisr
cdl38d: sisr
cdl38d: sir
dmansmi: lol ... you did it twice
cdl38d: bobby brown - getaway
dmansmi: Vivian Green - Fanatic ...
cdl38d: and humpin' around
cdl38d: we are talking about new jack swing here
cdl38d: not jazz
dmansmi: no ... I'm just telling you what I'm listening to punk
cdl38d: oh
cdl38d: lol
dmansmi: i'm going to the New Jack swing station now
cdl38d: love it!
dmansmi: SWV - I'm so into you
cdl38d: lol
dmansmi: ooohhh
dmansmi: Tony Toni Tone - It Never Rains
dmansmi: CrackHead - Shoop
cdl38d: all of Jodeci
dmansmi: Zhane - Groove Thang
cdl38d: Zhane - Sending my Love
dmansmi: R. Kelly - Down Low
dmansmi: sending my love was the shit
cdl38d: no, that's post new jack swing
cdl38d: r. kelly (and the public announcement) - vibe
dmansmi: Mint Condition - Forever In Your Eyes
dmansmi: R. Kelly (and public announcement) - Slow Dance
dmansmi: now
dmansmi: I got one for you ...
dmansmi: this one is going to set you off ...
dmansmi: Guy - Piece of my Love
cdl38d: yes sir yes sir
cdl38d: guy- groove me
dmansmi: yeah buddy
cdl38d: guy - teddy's jam
dmansmi: Bobby Brown - Get away ... is actually playing right now ...
cdl38d: that's the sh1t!
dmansmi: i know you already said it
dmansmi: Bell Biv DeVoe - Poison and Do ME!
cdl38d: Bell Biv DeVoe - i thought it was me
dmansmi: that's what I'm talking about
dmansmi: Boyz II MEn - Cooleyhighharmony
dmansmi: lolcdl38d: right, the whole dang cd
dmansmi: lol
dmansmi: Jodeci - Forever My Lady ... It's Like a dream, I'm hold you close, you're keeping me warm
cdl38d: i told you before ALL OF JODECI
dmansmi: i know, i just wanted to sing it
cdl38d: loldmansmi: H-Town - Knockin Da Boots ...
cdl38d: mary j. blige - what's the 411
dmansmi: that's it
dmansmi: that's the jam
dmansmi: Al B. Sure - Nite and DAy
cdl38d: mint condition - pretty brown eyes
dmansmi: have you heard they're new song?
cdl38d: no
cdl38d: but i know it's tight
dmansmi: Ralph Tresvant - Sensitivity ...
cdl38d: b/c they are very underrated
dmansmi: it is THE SHIT
cdl38d: johnny gill - rub me the right way
dmansmi: you need to watch the video on yahoo, it's called whoa
cdl38d: loldmansmi: j. gill - My, MY, Mydmansmi: "whoaa" with
2 asdmansmi: Shai - Comforter, If I Ever Fall In Love
cdl38d: right
dmansmi: that was my ish back in the day ...
cdl38d: i got one for you
dmansmi: k
cdl38d: jane child - i don't want to fall in love
dmansmi: Guy - Groove Me
cdl38d: i bet you don't remember that one
dmansmi: i don't
cdl38d: i already said guy -groove me
cdl38d: and teddy's jam
dmansmi: you didn't say groove me
cdl38d: yes i did
dmansmi: SWV - Weak. did you know SWV had a greatest hits album?
cdl38d: i'm sure they did
dmansmi: they didn't have that many songs
cdl38d: yes they did
dmansmi: Tony Toni Tone - Let's get down
cdl38d: they're first cd was just the best one
dmansmi: not enough to make a greatest hits cd
dmansmi: maybe half of a cd
cdl38d: lol
dmansmi: If I had no Loot
dmansmi: oohhh ... Brian McKnight - The Way Love Goes
cdl38d: tony toni tone - let's get down came out in '97
cdl38d: that's post new jack swing
cdl38d: new jack swing stops at '96
dmansmi: iguess ... I'm the king, I get to say when stuff starts and stops
cdl38d: whatever
dmansmi: lol
dmansmi: Babyface - For the Cool in You ...
dmansmi: Zhane - Hey Mr. DJ
dmansmi: TLC - Baby, Baby, Baby
cdl38d: babyface - never keeping secrets
cdl38d: toni braxton - another sad love song
dmansmi: Babyface - When can I see you again
dmansmi: Dru Hill - in my bed
cdl38d: once again dru hill is '97
dmansmi: no, it's 96 ... I'm looking at this one
cdl38d: whatever!
dmansmi: ooohhh
: Blackstreet - Before I let you go
cdl38d: blackstreet- bootie call
dmansmi: taht was a good one too
dmansmi: No Diggity
dmansmi: No doubt
dmansmi: Keith Sweat - make it last forever
cdl38d: keith sweat - there you go tell me no again
cdl38d: keith sweat - there's a right and a wrong way to love somebody
dmansmi: yeah
dmansmi: Brandy - Iwannabedown .... lol
cdl38d: brandy - baby
dmansmi: brandy - brokenhearted
dmansmi: Boyz 2 Men - End of the Road
dmansmi: Xscape - Just Kickin It
cdl38d: damn real
dmansmi: right
cdl38d: xscape was tight
dmansmi: right
cdl38d: what you ran out of songs
dmansmi: nocdl38d: well i did
cdl38d: temporarily
dmansmi: i went downstairs for a sec to get some carrots
dmansmi: you suck ... lol
cdl38d: oh
cdl38d: rabbit
dmansmi: tricks are for kids ...
dmansmi: Mariah Carey - Dreamlover
cdl38d: the whole damn musicbox
ccdl38d: cd
dmansmi: here you go ... Joe - I'm In Luv ...
dmansmi: BBD - I Thought It Was Me
cdl38d: round and round i go
cdl38d: i said that one already
dmansmi: Ahhh ... B2M and LL - Hey Lover
cdl38d: i got one for you
dmansmi: R. Kelly - Bump N. Grind ... the whole 12 Play Album ...
cdl38d: joe public - (forgot the name of the song)
cdl38d: portrait - here we go
cdl38d: unv - something's going on
dmansmi: portrait was my shit ...
dmansmi: How about LoKey? do you remember LoKey?
cdl38d: yes
cdl38d: i got a thang for ya baby
dmansmi: that was my shit
cdl38d: told you i'm the queen
dmansmi: they wre from KC
cdl38d: sounds of blackness - keep your head to the sky
dmansmi: Hi-Five - Quality Time, She's Playing Hard to Get
dmansmi: The Boys - ....
cdl38d: yes
cdl38d: hi-five - just can't handle it
dmansmi: right
dmansmi: Tevin Campbell - Always in my Heart
cdl38d: tevin campbell -round and round
dmansmi: Tevin Campbell - I'm Ready
dmansmi: Tevin Campbell - Can We Talk
cdl38d: tevin campbell - tell me what you want me to do
dmansmi: that was the shit ...dmansmi: Tevin Campbell - Breakdonw
dmansmi: i know you remember that one
cdl38d: yeah, that song was nasty
dmansmi: it was this shit
dmansmi: Troop - All I do
dmansmi: Troop - Sweet November
cdl38d: Troop was the sh1t
dmansmi: rightcdl38d: joe public - live and learn
dmansmi: oh my gosh ... that was my ish ... You got to live and learn ...
cdl38d: before your bridge is burned
dmansmi: rightcdl38d: you gotta live and learn
cdl38d: boyz II men - oooh ahhh!
dmansmi: i already said cooleyhighharmony punk
dmansmi: lol
cdl38d: it's playing now
dmansmi: that's tight
cdl38d: mary j. blige - real love
dmansmi: Keith Washington - tonight is right
cdl38d: keith washington is fine
dmansmi: Mary J. blige - Sweet Thang (a remake)

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Spiking Black Hollywood ...

Excuse me for how harsh and point blank this is: Black Hollywood, accept for a select few, SUCKS. I said this a while ago (see here). I actually want to see something that is stimulating for the - black mind. Shit the mind, period. Not some bullshit about the Flux of Aeon, a flipping video game, or a story about a wack rapper making his money of the fact that he got shot nine times and survived it and some powerful beats by Andre Young aka Dr. "Not the fat one from Yo! MTV Raps" Dre.

Now I finally have some affirmation about the Black Hollywood from a man who always does the right thing. Spike Lee pretty much blasted Black Hollywood - well, most of Hollywood - for it's desire to make a quick buck and the overall lacking of good films.

His best remark:
"I'm still convinced that a larger segment wants to be stimulated. People are getting tired of seeing TV shows remade, or movies from the 1950s, and comic books, and sequels. People say, well, it can't be the films; it's the video games, it's the 900 channels, it's this and that. All those things are a factor, but I think the biggest factor is that films aren't connecting with the audience. I mean, look. March of the Penguins. How much did that movie make? I'm telling you, it's my belief that people went to see that film because there was nothing else to see. If there were good movies in the theater, they're not going to see a documentary about penguins. " ~Spike Lee to Slate Mag.

A little dialogue:
Slate: OK. But can you be so sure that if the gatekeepers were African-American they would promote films that are in the social or aesthetic interests of black audiences?

Lee: Look, you get into that position and you know that first of all your films have to make money no matter who you are. But I can confidently say that if there had been a gatekeeper at MGM, I don't think Soul Plane could have gotten made. I'm confident in saying that.

Slate: So, if you were the head of one of these studios for example—

Lee: No, that's not something I want to be or aspire to be.

Slate: But if you were, you wouldn't give a green light to projects like that.

Lee: Well, all I'm saying is that there would be more variety and diversity as far as subject matter. And I would hopefully see a greater picture of African-Americans' experience vs. one that's limited to comedies and hip-hop, drug, gangsta, shoot 'em up films.

Here's the link to the whole conversation he had with Slate Mag - http://www.slate.com/id/2131367/?GT1=7428.

Can we get a black Closer, About A Boy or Unfaithful? Something real. Please. And Soon.

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Still Smiling ...

So I got the all too important chance to talk with a really good friend (grandma) for the first time in a while last night.

It started off on AIM, and progressed to the phone. But the big key was that I was smiling from ear to ear for the first time in a while. At first we weren't even talking about anything on AIM, and I couldn't stop cheesin. Then when the convo went cellular so I could talk about what's going wrong in my world, I still couldn't stop smiling and laughing.

Some people just give you a good feeling about yourself no matter what's going on. Grandma, really not my grandmother but a great friend from Mizzou, is one of those few people - although she can construct a sentence that would befuddle Aristotle - who can make me grin even when you prolly should be on the brink of tears maybe.

The fact that I'm still smiling a day later says a lot. Well, the Chiefs beat the Donkeys 31-27, and that helps as well. Shit, rmattwill was damn near crying because we pulled it out.

Back to the point, though. I'm sure you'll see this at some point Granny, so thanks, and good luck on those papers and finals. Don't let those NYC people who rip out pages bring you down. ... lol. Smile.

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Still Phrozen ...

I can still feel the ice in my veins. Something that started nearly a century ago, aged finer than the best wine and beautiful women. Ninety-nine years later, Alpha Phi Alpha is as chill as an artic breeze. Happy Anniversary.

This is the day seven men decided to start the first black collegiate fraternity 99 years ago. Callis. Chapman. Jones. Kelly. Murray. Ogle. Tandy. It's the breeding ground for many true trailblazers you know: MLK and Thurgood Marshall. And a few you don't: Lloyd Gaines and Charles Hamiltion Houston.

But moreover, the home of a real brotherhood. So much love to all the bruhs around the world. Zeta Alpha, Kiyama Tisa, til I die, enough said. To all the bruhs I've crossed paths with and those I haven't, Onward and Upward. 1111119 .... 06!

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The Best Lists Continue Below ...

My top five eight songs of the 2005 …
If you know me, you know I vibe to the mainstream hip hop stuff. But at the depths of my being is soul music. Neo-Soul. R&B. Soul. There haven’t been that many powerful albums or songs in recent past. But here’s a sampling of what has rotated in my CD player constantly in 2005...

Kem – I Can’t Stop Loving You. I was in my car after I purchased Brian McKnight’s Gemini the day it came out. They gave this out as a single with a purchase of Gemini, and I listened to this song about 15 times before I even heard the first track on the album I bought.

Mint Condition – Whoaa. I was just listening to a Launch on yahoo one day, and this popped up. Needless to say I was hooked. This is a real band that has made real music for a long time.

Ray J – One Wish. It came on as a New Joint on 106 & Park. I thought it would be lame, but Ray J actually came through with something hot for a change. Not that ‘Wait a minute,’ I’m crunk bullshit.

Babyface – Tonight, It’s Goin’ Down. I downloaded the first version of this CD, and found that this song is an unbelievable song to step to and get the mood right for a good night.

Kanye West feat. Brandy – Bring Me Down. To me the most powerful song on ‘Ye’s album (note: I didn’t say it was the best). I hit the repeat several times after hearing the strings and Brandy’s voice on the track.

Trey Songz – Gotta Go. The Triple B got me hooked on this song. I didn't hear it until it had been out, but it has a good vibe, and Songz has a powerful voice.

Alicia Keys – Unbreakable. I watch the Unplugged, and this is by far the best song she does. The lyrics are catchy. If I had to pick one couple she mentions to be like it’d probably be ‘Acting out like Will and Jada.’

John Legend – Ordinary People (released on Dec. 28, 2004). I heard it in 2004, and felt it then. But when you hear this song live, like I did twice in 2005, it will touch your soul. And if it doesn’t, the devil must already have it on lock.

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QB on the Rise

Speaking of QB ... she's making power moves. Yes, my best friend from college was nominated for a Regional Emmy for a special she produced during Black History Month.

I'm happy for her and all of her accomplishments in what's been a tough year for her as well. I hope she wins it ... http://www.exigi.com/fltv/?p=722

All Blesssings, QB. Keep doing what you do. I know you're laughing at the fact that I said that.

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3 Worst/Best Moments of 2005 ...

It's December 1, which means it's time to start reflecting on the last year. Did my new year's resolution come to fruition? Hell No (does it ever?).

It was a bad year. Really. I wish Ashton could have made a run through and told me the last year was an ongoing episode of Punk'd. I'd sign my name off, if all of the bad things weren't legit.

The big resolution with no resolve was to make my relationship with Black Barbie Bia work. Didn't happen because Black Barbie Bia is a selfish, not-so-good, crazy immature person who has a bad record at keeping her word(see Jan. 2003, March 2003, Dec. 2003, Feb. 2004, April 2004, July 2004, Sept. 2004, Jan. 2005, March 2005, May 2005, August 2005 - don't mind these notes to myself). Hindsight being 20/10, I should have realized this two-plus years ago when 97.4 percent of my good friends were screaming these facts in my left and right ears. Me being a dumb-ass trying to believe in that fairy tale bullshit, I tried anyway. But like Jill Scott said "Everything, ain't for everybody."

Anyway, my point wasn't to go on a rampage like that. It was to give a list of the three worst, then three best moments of this year.

The worst:
1. Jan 1. QB's birthday. I was in Miami, living it up and throwing a whale of a surprise party for QB. We met about 10-15 people at the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino for dinner at about 8 p.m. She was still hungover from that good Patron from the night before, and finally decided to eat something, a No. 2 from Mickie Ds, at about 7 p.m. on the way to the first surprise destination. We fought that entire day, not to mention most of my vaca. Still, good times though (read below).

2. Mid-March/Aprilish(don't remember the exact date). The day Lee decided he was crazy, and more importantly, didn't care. That's all I'm going to say about this. Not to mention the N-word incident.

3. Sunday, Nov. 18. The day I realized the Black Barbie Bia never really gave a shit(shat) about me. Tough day after three years of trying to be a good man. Realization is good, though. A lot better than false hope. But this was a bad, bad day.

The last two aren't things I'll ever talk much about, but I'll put them in perspective, I'd rather have 5 cars stolen (remember it happened once last December) than have another day as bad as either one of those two.

The Three Best:
3. Early August. A middle of the week trip to the STL to see John Legend live, for the third time, with the Black Barbie Bia. We had to pull a trick to get some seats, but my scheme and her actions worked. Legend, ComSense and De La Soul ripped the mic and it was a great night.

2. Mid-Jan. Kicking it with Summers & J-Rock at the Levee ...

1. First week of Jan. The look on Quiana's face when she realized that we surprised her was priceless. Plus, her fake tequila shot, which was really water that she refused to take because she was hungover was a funny moment. I also made about $200 off of $5 in the casino in two minutes while bitching about how bad slots are, and I got to kick it with a few of my best friends from Mizzou (nikki and rpc).

That's it ... the best and the worst moments for d. scott in 2005. Nothing great, and a few bad moments from some bad seeds. Overall, not a great year, maybe 2006 will bring about some change. The Coldest Frat in the land - Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. - hits 100 next year. Ninety-Nine in three days. That should be something else.

And yes, I understand there's still a month left, but I can guarantee you that nothing spectacular is going down in the OP in December, and that's the truth.

P.S. the other bad thing that happened - a shitload of good people left KC - Fuller, Kaduk, G.Scott, Kowalczyk, PistonFan, TraTra and her husband-to-be ... I can't think of anybody else. But I know there are more, and I miss'em all. Good times, and good people.

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